If you have followed this blog since the beginning (silly you) then you know I used to be controversial. However, after three years (yes 3) I got old and tired, the adoption process beat me up and I was forced to chill out. Well, I've rested. Have lots of energy and starting to feel like the old me again, so I thought what better way to begin anew than to stir up a little controversy. I mean emotions...or maybe that is thinking. Dangit where are those strikeout functions for blogger?
Warning: if you are new to this blog, please don't view the video below if:
you want to remain in a bubble, have no feelings (either way)
think times are changing and racism doesn't exist and
think it's perfectly normal for the Duggars to have 1 more child. I don't know what the Duggars has to do with this video or post but seriously 19 kids? OUCHHHHHHHH
So, here is the video Bi-Racial Hair. I had so many emotions when I viewed it. There were many umms and oohhs and yeahs and yups and wows that came out of my mouth. I had to view it twice. My cousin said she had to undergo some brief trauma counseling afterward. LOL Let me know what you think and we can have a deeper conversation in the comments section.
Again...remember you have been warned. See this is the nicer, kinder, gentler Tami.
I was told by the Adoption Whisperer (AW-Robbin) that it was time for me to play a few games. So, Robbin, here I go following the rules of the adoption blogdom (or is that blogsphere?).
This game is just for shintz and giggles because I am terrible about mailing packages (sometimes they never get mailed). Sad, but true...so, there are NO prizes. Unless of course the AW wants to provide one to the winner. ;-)
There would have been no wonder without the doorway that Alice finally managed to enter. That colorful and whimsical doorway foretold what adventures were waiting for Alice on the other side.
That must mean that Baby I must have a fabulous door for her room and life of wonder to come. You got it! I bought my baby a new door today (the room didn't have a door so and any ole door would not do, nope!).
Behold the entrance to Baby I's Wonderland (oh, the picture stinks b/c I have no camera). It is so tiny it's anti-climatic I know but you get the point. :-).
A former co-worker had just returned from a soul searching two-month trip to India to visit her birth and adoptive parents. She was talking about how great the trip was, but at some point in the conversation she mentioned how her birth mother had been sad at different points in her life (she knew her, although she didn't find out that it was her birth mother until she was an adult) about giving her up for adoption (to a family member). At that point it clicked that my excitement (about this adoption) was at the cost of someone's grief. How excited I was, but how sad a mother and family must be to be giving a child up. That made my heart literally hurt and stomach sink, I just started crying at work. My friend had to come across the desk and calm me down then take me and buy me hot chocolate. She provided as much encouragement and support as she could and the only words I could muster were:
"I just want to do the right thing and be a great mother."
I guess as I'm on the final countdown to my referral it is getting very real and these are probably normal worries. I just pray that the little spirit that God blesses me to watch over that her birth mother and family have enough faith to know that she will be ok. That God has placed her with a mother who has been preparing for her and waiting for her for a long time. That she will love, support, guide and raise her to be a proud, smart, respectful, Christian, fun loving, creative and confidant woman. Proud to be all that she is by birth and by growth. Baby I has much to look forward to and as her mother so do I and even with the tears today and the ones I will undoubtedly have to come, SO DO I! I can't wait.
I'm working on the nursery! If you didn't remember (how could you since it was years ago) I am a part time interior decorator, so I am somewhat particular when it comes to my design. Translation very slow! I have been thinking about this nursery for a year! LOL It is going to be a combination of the following three rooms -- if you have any imagination but there won't be any big pictures of panties I promise! I started to block that out but it made me laugh so I left it alone, I figured you would scratch your head a little and say what the heck is that Tami up to now? In my house we are calling it Baby I in Wonderland. ;-)
Well, I would narrow the names down but why spoil all the fun? Maybe you guessed it. Maybe you didn't. Will my feelings be hurt if you don't like my kid's name? Nope! Why? Because...I like it! And so will my little Baby I.
Although this journey has been a long one, I do not regret any moment of it! However, you may if you have been following for these years. This journal is being created for my daughter so she will never have any doubt from where she came, who she is and how much she is loved. Before I decided to adopt I lacked motivation, she motivates me and makes life worth living again.
Hang Out With Us
12/9/10 - Accepted Referral
12/8/10 - Received Referral
12/18/09 - Fingerprint Appointment #2
Fingerprint Appointment #1
Told I Had To Redo all Documentation
11/29/09 - 2nd Homestudy Approved
Told Singles Could Continue Adoption
11/17/08 - Informed Adoption Would Not Be Until '10-'11 Court Year
7/25/08 - Gladney Approval to Adopt
5/21/08 - Visa Petition Case Number Received
5/13/08 - I-171H Approved
4/2/08 - USCIS Appointment
3/14/08 - Home Study Approved
3/8/08 - Adoption Videos Finished
12/18/07 - FBI Fingerprints Cleared
10/5/07 - Home Study Visit #3 - FINAL
9/12/07 - Home Study Visit #2
9/4/07 - Mailed Adoption Application to Gladney
8/22/07 - Home Study Visit #1 Second Attempt
8/21/07 - Home Study Visit #1
8/3/07 - Faxed PCR Form: Gladney
7/25/07 - Medical Exam
7/19/07 - Notarized and Mailed Child Protection Release
7/16/07 - Submitted Home Study Application
7/16/07 - Sent in 1600A- Advance Processing of Orphan Petition & Fingerprinting: USCIS
7/16/07 - Picked World Child, Inc. to Complete Home Study
6/27/07 - Emailed Request for Application: Gladney
6/22/07 - Emailed Adoption Information Request: Gladney