Top 10 Things To Do Before I Become a Mom

Haze's reply to my football post made me think that we should all come up with lists of things we should do for ourselves before we become Moms so I'm going to start a new game of tag! :-) Hey, some of you need things to do anyway! So, I'm tagging Haze, Laura AND...hmmmmm Melissa (she's already done lap dancing what else can she possibly do...LOL).

My Top 10 List

1. Join an extracurricular activity each season (this season, flag football).

2. Have architectural drawings for the remodel of my house done (at least I will know how I will want it too look...the remodel will begin in 2008 after Baby I). Notice I did not say remodel, I can't afford that yet (adoption) but at least I can look at drawings of what I will have in the near future.

3. Get my teeth whitened (yes, it may be vain but I want bright white teeth!).

4. Join a small group at church.

5. Take additional classes at church in order to start my own small group at church either for women who have suffered infertility or in support of adoption.

6. Make more of an effort to spend time with my closest family and friends.

7. Take a week long vacation with no work to someplace far away!

8. Get rid of all my ex boyfriend drama!

Number 9-10 are on hold...I'm not sure of these yet but as soon as I come up with them I'll let you know! I'm going to print this list out and keep you up to date on my progress.

FOOTBALL!!!

Yes, I have a new hobby and it is football. You may say what is so interesting about that, many of you like to watch football but I actually don't like to watch football. I play football , much to my football loving family's dismay!

Why did I do it (many have asked)? I wanted/needed something different in my life. I guess being faced with becoming a mother in less than a year has me thinking of things I should have done and wondering if I have enough of a community. Joining a football team is definitely a community. Next year I'll just strap Baby I in her stroller and push her on the side line with someones wife or husband and she can watch Mommy playing football.

So far, I have had two practices (Saturday and yesterday, Wednesday). We are getting ready to compete with all of the other teams in the metro DC area so it is imperative that I get up to speed. Yes, I wonder if that is possible also. Hey I paid my $75 just like everyone else so I am going to play like everyone else! After the first practice I was told "Tami since you are the weakest link you can pick the jersey colors." LOL That was pretty funny but I said that's okay I'm going to get better and all the guys laughed. BTW...on our co-ed team of 13 we have 4 women. At our first practice I had to get the basics you know...catching, who the quarterback was, etc. They decided that I should be a rusher. What? They wanted me to rush the quarterback (the guy with the ball) and get his ball or flag in this case while he has the ball. And mind you there are men and women blocking me from him. Well...okay. Then they put it in perspective for me. "Tami just act like he has some Prada's around his neck that he stole from your house!" "Oh no! I want my shoes back!" "Exactly, go get him!" LOL After practice number 1 I didn't catch anyone but I only fell twice, was hit in the face once and got one swollen finger and the next few days I ached like HECK but I had fun.

Practice #2. The pain stopped on Tuesday just in time for practice on Wednesday...life is good! I called my Aunt on the way to practice and she laughed hysterically about my going to practice. She calls my telephone calls her MDLB (mediocre day looking better) calls. That's okay...I hung up on her after I gave her a piece of my mind! hehehe I got to practice and started out with a few one-on-one passes and then we went into the game. Yikes..it was no mercy but guess what? The other team was sleeping on me and I got 2 sacks or flags. Then they realized I'm fast and am actually a good rusher (okay learning to be) and started blocking me with 2 men! They even called me out on a play. I accused them of being scared of me now and my team laughed at them. It felt good and my team said that I'm doing really well and I'm turning out to be a quick learner and may even be the 6th man!

See don't tell me I can't do something...I'll do it just to spite you! As a single woman going through adoption and preparing to be a single mother (like my mother) if I don't know strength then I don't know what I know. Now I just have a great outlet. I wonder what I am going to get into after this season is over? What is your outlet? If you don't have one...get one and physical ones are awesome!

More of My Two Cents

I subscribe to Tadias magazine to keep up with the happenings and lifestyles of Ethiopians in the US. The great thing about an online magazine is that you can leave comments and of course I found a place to leave my two cents. (I probably should have been a lawyer!)

When the Mesgana dancers first arrived to the US they landed in NYC and were hosted by an African American Actor Leon. One Ethiopian was not to thrilled about that and as a result I was a little offended. I decided to leave a response but I must admit I wasn't sure how my response was going to be taken on an Ethiopian board so I used my middle name (Denise). Yes, punk I know! There was only 1 person that commented after I did but they agreed with me so I felt relief! From now on I'll use my real name. If I am going to cause trouble I should be proud of causing it NO?

Dureyie Demet Aug 14th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
the girls were amazing!!!!! they are beautiful, humble, talented and bright. The show was excellent along with the costumes and music. Thank you thank you. what i didn’t understand was why was LEON there?? why why why someone please explain!

Denise Aug 14th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Why wouldn’t Leon be there? He had the means and interest to support the dancers so why are you being so divisive? We are all people of the African continent and should learn to love appreciate and respect one another. I saw the girls in Columbia and loved every moment of it. The crowd was diverse and it was awesome. And if you didn’t realize the purpose of the tour was to raise funds for education programs so if Leon and others can bring awareness to the plight of Ethiopia then great. Furthermore I am not Ethiopian I am of a mixed Afro Latin background but I am in the process of adopting my daughter from Ethiopia.

Kiki Aug 20th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
I just don’t understand what this is all about.
Thank you Denise.
I understand that organizers reached out to a few high profile Ethiopian’s first in order to draw attention, but none responded and then Leon jumped on board right away. Thank you Leon and I love the humanitarian work you do for ALL people. Let us not forget we ARE ALL ONE PEOPLE!
K

Singles Rules Change?

This morning I went on the Ethiopian Singles Yahoo Board and there were two disturbing emails. The first one said that one woman was told by her agency they could no longer work with her because they could only accept 5 singles a year for Ethiopia and they have fulfilled their quota! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!

The second email said how one woman's agency contacted her because their in-country representative was just told the government has made some changes that will affect singles but the rule has yet to be signed. However, if you are signed on with an agency you are safe. (I guess I better mail my paperwork next week, since I've paid for my home study).

So...there is a rule on the table. Will they sign it this year? Who knows but that is crazy! I want two children and in my heart I wish I could adopt two now. However, every time I look in my pocketbook I keep coming up with dust bunnies! Sighhhhhh! Maybe the rule will grandfather singles who have already adopted! Wishful thinking!

First Home Study...Check!

I made it AND on time! HEHE We talked for 75 minutes. I got lots of smiles (I really am great, if I do say so myself!), a few laughs and a blank stare (lol)...well, I love Baby I's name...yes, it's different but so am I. Conformity is for dweebs! We scheduled meeting #2 at MY HOME for Sept 12. I then went on my merry little way with lots more paperwork. As if I didn't have enough to confuse me.

But on the bright side, I'm one step closer to Baby I. I feel like I'm finally making some progress. Now if I could just decide on what to do with the nursery! This is what keeps me up at night! LOL

The Misunderstanding

I didn't have my home study today because there was a little misunderstanding. When the social worker sent me an email it included directions (yes I read it) to his facility for the visit. But when we spoke on the phone (I thought) we agreed to have the first visit at my home. He didn't recall that and I do...oh well, one of us is wrong and since I don't have any control over the situation I guess it is me! YIKES...so far strike one for Mommy! Well, I'm trying not to cry at the moment about messing this one up. I suppose they can't keep my baby from me for making an honest mistake. We'll try this again tomorrow at 10:00 am.

Reading is Essential

There is this little rumor going around that single women may no longer be able to adopt from Ethiopia so many of us (currently in process of adopting) are frantically trying to finish paperwork so we can be grandfathered in "just in case." So over the weekend I was going through my Gladney application pulling together all of my paperwork. I said to myself I wanted to have my application submitted by the middle of September. In reviewing my application I had a few questions so I shot off a quick email to my case manager. I thought I was doing something...you know being proactive because my home study was in a few days (by the way it is TODAY)! Oh...Gladney was great and quick to respond they even called at my request however they asked me: "Tami what are you doing?" I said: "What do you mean? I'm trying to get all of my paperwork done so when my home study is complete I can send everything with my application." She laughed and said "No. You should have sent in your application first, then we give you approval for the home study."

OOOPPPPSSSS! Well the way the checklist looked to me... I guess it is only a checklist and it was not meant to be the end all. I'll have to remember that for the rest of this process. Note to self: Read more paper or at least browse for important points! Oh, back to my conversation with my case manager:

"Tami did you read your emails?"
HUHH????
"Tami did you get your emails?"
HUHHHHH????
"Tami are you there?"
HUHHHH???

No, it wasn't that bad but that is what it felt like. I felt like I was back in third grade when I knew I did something really bad and I had no good excuse. I could have said...well, I've been building a new company and one of my clients was pretty unhappy or heck the dog ate it but at the end of the day I just didn't read it. I said early on in this process I knew the hardest part was going to be reading all of the papers because I never read manuals! When I was in business school I didn't learn how to use my business calculator until the end of the semester. Why? Because I didn't read the manual of course! I bet that B would have turned to an A if I fully utilized the functionality of the calculator. Oh well. It's a good thing I don't have to read too many manuals in my line of work! LOL As far as the rest of this process...Just pray for me! The moral of this story is: Reading is Essential!