Thanks for the Advice

Thanks All for the great advice. I'm still thinking things out while I work on completing my home study paperwork. I'll be back sometime next week with my normal witty and smart a$* commentary.

Have a great week!

Blogdom: I Need Boy Names!

Dear Blogdom:

My bestfriend, yes the one who doesn't read my blog, is having a boy next month. The problem is she and her husband can't agree on a boy's name and I'm all out of suggestions. We've tried: Connor, Owen, Hayden, Jackson, (her first son is Desmond), Ellis, Tristen, Braydon and Randy to name a few. Her husband doesn't like them. He doesn't want anything that starts with an A because the boys initials would be ASS (that would build character though...lol). They also want something a little different.

Soooooooooo....even though she doesn't read my blog, I love her (plus her first son is my Godson) and I thought I would see if the ole wise ones could come up with some boys names. So give me all of your best boys names...PLEASE! If you don't help and we don't find a name soon, I told her she may just have to find a new husband!

Wear Black Tomorrow for Jena 6

FREE THE JENA 6 ...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... FREE THE JENA SIX

On September 20, 2007 more than 1 million people will wear BLACK as we unite in one voice with one message to declare that UN-EQUAL JUSTICE is just not acceptable. The world will be watching when not just African Americans but people of all races take a stand for something that we all believe in. Mychal Bell and the Jena Six should be free. If you have not heard about their case and why these average teenagers, good students, great athletes and are now fighting for their lives (one student Mychal Bell has been in jail since Dec. 2006) please CLICK HERE NOW to view this video for the shock of your life. This is clearly a case of racism, but the protest in Jena, LA, the US and around the world is not an attack on white people but against a system that has failed us all. It is not about black and white but about what is wrong and what is right!

Enough is Enough...Un-Equal Justice is just not acceptable! ..Wear Black on September 20th to show your support!

(this was taken from the Michael Baisden website, you can click here for more information)

Selam.

The World of Me to She

As I am sitting around working and thinking about doing absolutely nothing this evening I realized that my blog should really be subtitled a single woman's journey from the world of ME to SHE. I even thought about saying WE but does it really become we? From all I am now doing and what I understand parenthood is all about, it is really about the kid. And be sure they demand that it is all about them. They rule the world and you are just there for their amusement, it is not the other way around!

So wait, let me understand this. I'm going through all of this so this little person can cry, dictate to me what they will and will not do...Have temper tantrums....Get sick, get me sick, make me miss work, pee on me, mess up my nice clothes and spill juice in my great SUV...so she can tell me NO...become a teenager, learn to roll her eyes (making me try very hard not to slap them out of her head) and then say "I hate you" under her breath...I'm praying it is under her breath.

My mother said this is my autobiography AND I deserve a daughter! Thanks MOMMY!

Second Home Study Visit

I forgot to mention, I had my second home study visit (at my house) on Wednesday. I had read so many posts that the social worker doesn't do a "white glove" test like I thought so I didn't do anything different from how I normally live. I even kept the catch all room, albeit a little neater (read: current junk room which is in transformation to become Baby I's room). Everything was fine. One of my references was there to vouch for my sanity (I paid her after he left....LOL) and answer a few questions.

I still have to get my fingerprints, DMV records and a few other forms completed by our next and last visit which is the first week of October. The home study process is really very painless it's all the paperwork that will give you a migraine.

Dear Blogdom:

No, it's not Sunday but this has been on my mind and if you haven't figured this out about me I have to speak my mind. Additionally, I read in a post this morning that a mother let someone hold her baby for a few moments because she had to tend to her other child that had fallen and her baby did not want to go back to her...the mother was heartbroken of course.

So Blogdom the question is...when you bring (or brought) your child home how soon do/did you allow other people to hold him/her? I plan on adopting a 6-8 month old and I am trying to decide how soon to allow family and friends to come visit, stay and hold my daughter. I don't want to offend anyone, particularly not my family but I also must do what is best for my daughter. Oh wise Blogdom...what do I do?

Happy New Millennium

For those of you who don't know (probably just my friends and family...smile), today is the day that Ethiopia entered into the new millennium. Based on the Ethiopian calendar September 12, 2000 is the first day of the new millennium so you know what that means? PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Bass Ackwards

My mother said I've always done things a little differently, case in point I came into the world premature with afterbirth first (yes, we almost both died)! Hey, I wanted to make an entrance (like the Diva I am (hehe)) and wanted to make sure that no one would forget Tami. I never was the quiet child. I was always bored so I had a playroom full of "creative items" accompanied by a yard full of wonder (read: stuff to get in to), I kept my mother on her toes.

Then there was school. I was the child that got straight A's in my classwork but straight 5s for my attitude. Yes a 1 was for she is sweet as pie and a 5 was for she doesn't know how or when to shut up. I know you are not very surprised I got 5s are you? I still don't know when to shut up but I'm an adult now and I don't much care what people think. I guess that's why I'm an entrepreneur because corporate...well....not so much! Anyway...more bass ackwards...

• Growing up I would always have to have the last word with my mother even though I knew it meant getting smacked in the mouth...WHY????


• Here's a good one...I got behind the wheel of a car when I was 4 and put it in reverse and down the hill I went with the car...I couldn't drive of course (I got it that night!). My mother chased the car and saved me and the car if you were wondering.


• I purchased a manual transmission car first then learned how to drive a stick! Hey...it was cheaper!


• I did not go to the business school library even 1 time. It was on the other side of campus, too far to walk! Thank goodness for the Internet and nice companies! LOL


• I went to Europe after business school and figured I would find places to stay along the way AND we stayed in a different city every night for two weeks straight!


• I moved to NYC without a job or an apartment (thank God for friends).


• I quit my good corporate job to start a company.


• I started another company instead of looking for a good corporate job (risk adverse I'm not).


• Finally, I'm starting a family before being married....oh that's not bass ackwards that's just life! Love it!

Me a Racist?

Yesterday I posted on the Jena 6 and have received a few responses. Great. That is what I wanted and I'm sure many have said there she goes again. That is the typical response I normally receive when it comes to race. If you read the comments posted I received a very nice comment not agreeing with my opinion(Yes, I even post those too). That is fine, I am not the end all but what I want to do with my blog is working. I want to bring the issue of race to light. It is here and it is not going away. (BTW...I also looked at the number of times I have talked about race since I started posting and out of 64 posts it has been 6 times...so shoot me!)

We (people of color) live it (race issues) EVERYDAY and as I said, the more things change the more they stay the same. I am not a racist but a realist. As you (Ms. Annon.) stated yes love, education and family IS important BUT not in lieu of our culture this MUST be a part of your child's home life. You see, the world is not fair and as a black educated woman having lived many places and able to move in many different arenas I see the discrepancies clearly. I have friends that are adopted and friends that are not. I have friends that are aware of their culture and friends that are not. Even I did not become as aware of my culture as I am today until I was an adult and trust me I am a much happier person today for it. Maybe this is why I truly understand the importance of it.

Be clear. I am an advocate for adoption no matter what color the parent however, I (Tami) am of the school that you cannot adopt an African "black" child in a vacuum. I will even go one step further and say no one should be adopting a child from another country in a vacuum...their culture (and race if appropriate) should always be included in their upbringing.

Race and diversity are tough issues and most people are normally uncomfortable talking about them. I am not. I can not be. I live it every day. If I stop talking about it then what happens to me, my family, my children, my community? If I stop talking about it what happens to you, your family, your children, your community. What happens to us and our country? I am not talking about race to be devise. On the contrary I am talking about race to make sure that we are inclusive. Selam.

Jena 6

I am sure you have heard about the Jena 6 by now. I am simply furious and I can't keep silent anymore! The only thing I can think is the more things change the more they stay the same. What is happening in our world? Why do we have a world where nooses can be hung from a proclaimed "white tree" and when black students protest they are told it was only a prank, get over it.

Why can a District Attorney (white) accompanied by the town's police be allowed to demand from students to end their protest and telling them, "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke of my pen." (Of course) a series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder. What???????? Now these 6 students are in a fight literally for their lives. Let's be clear. At the school when white students fought they were suspended or in a very rare case expelled but these students have been jailed for almost a year and are being charged with conspiracy to commit murder!

I am not trying to start a virtual race riot on my blog however I do want to use my blog as a tool for good. Not only to talk about adoption but to talk about issues that will affect the way we parent our children. As we all know sometimes our blogdom seems like a utopia but this world is nothing fair and our Ethiopian African American babies will have a lot to contend with.

So what can we do?

On September 20th everyone is being asked if they can get to Louisiana in support of Jena 6 to please do so. If you can't then buy a free Jena 6 T-Shirt or at a minimum wear black on that day.

Come on People...enough is enough! What type of world are we bringing our kids into. If we don't stand for something we will fall for anything. Tomorrow this could be our children sitting under "the white" tree. Selam.

Tuesday Afternoon Open Thread

You can observe a lot by just watching.

- Yogi Berra

What are you doing...thinking...wondering right now????

I'm sitting at my desk, talking to my Aunt (not really listening) thinking why do I keep buying this Trident gum that looses its flavor so fast? Pretty profound huh? I bet you thought I was deeper than that! Your turn.

Dear Blogdom:

It's Sunnnnnnnnnday, our designated question day! So...my question is: how do you plan on making sure that your child is aware of their unique heritage (Ethiopian and African American)?

For instance if you are Caucasian how do you intend to teach your child about their Ethiopian heritage as well as the history of African Americans. If you are of color (African American, Caribbean, etc.) how do you plan on involving your child in his/her culture as well as your own?

If you already have your kid(s) at home what kind of things have done to make sure that your child(ren) remain in touch with their Ethiopian heritage AND that they have both Ethiopian and African American friends and role models?

Everything (Video)

The video starts off a little slow but it has a very powerful ending. It is worth the watch! Be Blessed!