Introducing Isley Rahwa

On June 29th the sweetest face ever became my precious daughter. I am over the moon happy! It has been a very long seven years to parenthood and four years in the adoption process. Whew. But look at this face, it was worth it in the end. I love this girl! Did I say how happy I am yet? :-) Will post more this weekend. Thank you for following this crazy journey in my life. xoxox

Today Brought More Changes...

Today brought more changes and more uncertainty. There are no answers. Nothing is clear. However, I have made the decision to begin living my life not in fear, hate or worry, but in peace and joy. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or how long this process will continue to take, but I won't waste anymore time stressing about it. It is wasted energy. What will be, will be.

New Court Date

I woke up yesterday and decided I was going to be at peace no matter what. And lo and behold that afternoon I received a new court date. June 23! Prayerfully I will receive a ruling that day and can show off pictures of my baby girl finally! Keep your fingers crossed and hands clasped.

The Golden Top

Besides complaining I actually have been doing some fun things while waiting for Ms. Isley to come home. I finished updating her dresser, which has now taken up residence in the kitchen while I work on the ceiling for her room. Yes, her ceiling! It is a harlequin design similar to the dresser...ahh wait and see.

Before:

What was wrong with the before you ask? It just wasn't girly and youthful enough. So, with a little turquoise paint from my floor project, gold leafing, green frog tape, spray shellac and new colorful knobs, I created a beauty for my beauty.

After:

Disclaimer: the room was a little dark when I took the pictures, so you can't see how beautiful it really is...so much for cell phone cameras, but you get the idea.

What's Bugging Me Today

The other families that didn't pass court received new court dates, but no not Tami. Seriously, I feel like someone has it out for me. The past 6 years have been so incredibly difficult for me, I'm trying so hard to turn it all around, but can a sista get a break? I mean how difficult is it to go see your child, leave them in a foster care center, then have someone say, we will get back to you. I missing all her major milestones, I'm not there to comfort her when she is sad and lonely or see the joy when she smiles. She is going to be more and more delayed with each moment and frankly I'm so over it all. I just want my baby home! Yeah, 4 years of patience is GONE!

Sorry I kept you. What's eating Tami today?

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you.

Without a strong rhyme to step to.

Think of how many weak shows you slept through.

Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you.

Yes, I’m back. It’s been six months. S-I-X. Since starting my blog this is the longest hiatus yet, but let me tell you. I need a break from Groundhog Day I seem to be in.

I know you are sitting there reading this saying one of the following things:

· Tami what happened with the call?

· Did you go to Ethiopia yet?

· Is Isley home?

· What the #$%@ is going on?

Well, over here in Tamiland - remember the place that is all about me – pretty much it is the same crap, except with a different situation. Oh, do I sound a tad bit angry, bitter or fed up? Yup! Pretty much I am! I will fill you in on all the little details in the upcoming posts, but let me answer a few outstanding questions.

1. The call. I was in total shock and then I looked at my daughter’s picture and wasn’t sure if the agency didn’t make a mistake. Truth.

2. The referral. I got over my insanity and began falling in love with the photo and the idea of finally being a mother.

3. Ethiopia. I went to Ethiopia and fell totally and completely in love with my daughter…crying on the way out because I had no idea when I would go back to bring her home for good and that was March 13.

4. Isley. WOW. My baby girl is amazing. I love MY KID and she loves her momma. The nannies at the foster care center said she doesn’t like new people and they were amazed that she did not fuss one time with me. Not one time. We were like yin and yang from the first moment we saw each other. Did I mention how beautiful and sweet she is?

5. Waiting. My waiting has been terrible! I received my referral Dec. 8^th. Had court on March 9^th. Failed court on June 8^th. Did I mention June 7^th was my birthday? Thanks for the memories.

6. Changes. I probably hold the recognition for being the person in this process the longest. I have experienced almost every change that Ethiopian adoption can give you and can I tell you…I am worn the hell out. Sorry, I’m trying to keep this as G rated as possible, but I am EMOTIONALLY SPENT!

7. Now what? Well, I keep waiting. I received the referral of my beauty when she was 3 months and now she is 9 months. At best it will be two more months before she comes home. Let’s not talk about the worst. If the worst happens I’ll be collecting for a second trip to spend more time with my baby.

That’s about it! Sorry for the months delay and for this post not being encouraging, supportive or giving more information. Frankly, I just needed an outlet to provide a $%(* fest! I so need a different way to release all these emotions and kickboxing once a week is not enough. I need to kick box EVERYDAY!

Oh, I don’t even have the patience/energy right now to spell, grammar or content check this, so this is a one thought, one type, hit blogger post! Check it in your head for me, I know you all are way smart! Maybe I’ll do more of those in the upcoming future: What the heck is eating (or beating) Tami today?