The Golden Top

Besides complaining I actually have been doing some fun things while waiting for Ms. Isley to come home. I finished updating her dresser, which has now taken up residence in the kitchen while I work on the ceiling for her room. Yes, her ceiling! It is a harlequin design similar to the dresser...ahh wait and see.

Before:

What was wrong with the before you ask? It just wasn't girly and youthful enough. So, with a little turquoise paint from my floor project, gold leafing, green frog tape, spray shellac and new colorful knobs, I created a beauty for my beauty.

After:

Disclaimer: the room was a little dark when I took the pictures, so you can't see how beautiful it really is...so much for cell phone cameras, but you get the idea.

Sorry I kept you. What's eating Tami today?

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you.

Without a strong rhyme to step to.

Think of how many weak shows you slept through.

Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you.

Yes, I’m back. It’s been six months. S-I-X. Since starting my blog this is the longest hiatus yet, but let me tell you. I need a break from Groundhog Day I seem to be in.

I know you are sitting there reading this saying one of the following things:

· Tami what happened with the call?

· Did you go to Ethiopia yet?

· Is Isley home?

· What the #$%@ is going on?

Well, over here in Tamiland - remember the place that is all about me – pretty much it is the same crap, except with a different situation. Oh, do I sound a tad bit angry, bitter or fed up? Yup! Pretty much I am! I will fill you in on all the little details in the upcoming posts, but let me answer a few outstanding questions.

1. The call. I was in total shock and then I looked at my daughter’s picture and wasn’t sure if the agency didn’t make a mistake. Truth.

2. The referral. I got over my insanity and began falling in love with the photo and the idea of finally being a mother.

3. Ethiopia. I went to Ethiopia and fell totally and completely in love with my daughter…crying on the way out because I had no idea when I would go back to bring her home for good and that was March 13.

4. Isley. WOW. My baby girl is amazing. I love MY KID and she loves her momma. The nannies at the foster care center said she doesn’t like new people and they were amazed that she did not fuss one time with me. Not one time. We were like yin and yang from the first moment we saw each other. Did I mention how beautiful and sweet she is?

5. Waiting. My waiting has been terrible! I received my referral Dec. 8^th. Had court on March 9^th. Failed court on June 8^th. Did I mention June 7^th was my birthday? Thanks for the memories.

6. Changes. I probably hold the recognition for being the person in this process the longest. I have experienced almost every change that Ethiopian adoption can give you and can I tell you…I am worn the hell out. Sorry, I’m trying to keep this as G rated as possible, but I am EMOTIONALLY SPENT!

7. Now what? Well, I keep waiting. I received the referral of my beauty when she was 3 months and now she is 9 months. At best it will be two more months before she comes home. Let’s not talk about the worst. If the worst happens I’ll be collecting for a second trip to spend more time with my baby.

That’s about it! Sorry for the months delay and for this post not being encouraging, supportive or giving more information. Frankly, I just needed an outlet to provide a $%(* fest! I so need a different way to release all these emotions and kickboxing once a week is not enough. I need to kick box EVERYDAY!

Oh, I don’t even have the patience/energy right now to spell, grammar or content check this, so this is a one thought, one type, hit blogger post! Check it in your head for me, I know you all are way smart! Maybe I’ll do more of those in the upcoming future: What the heck is eating (or beating) Tami today?

G-MA's Surprise Baby Shower

My mother is so excited about Baby I and all of her friends know it! I've finally gotten her under control about asking me "what is going on" because it drives me a little nuts (more than I already am). When people ask me "so, what's going on with your daughter?" I know they mean well, but does anyone not think that they would not know (especially my family) when I receive (and accept) a referral. It will be pretty clear that Baby I is in the house. Oh, yes it will...Baby I will be in the house. And she may even have a name. ;-)

Oh, I digress, this post wasn't supposed to be about me...back to my mother. She is so excited! This past weekend her girlfriends told her they were getting together for drinks and they gave her a grandmother's shower. Awwww. Baby I's first shower! Ok, Tami's friends...you all need to get on it...dang it back to me again. tee hee.

Check the goods out below, nice huh?

Sit still Too Long and I'll Paint You

No, there has not been any movement with Baby I or you can call her Isa, Isla, Ivy, Isley or Imani. :-) Robbin told me I'm not stable right now; actually she told Celeste, but then she told me. What a friend, however she is right. You know that FBI list the APs made? I never, ever, ever checked it until recently, now I'm a mad woman about it! I must check that list 6 times a day. Oh, wait... I haven't checked it in a few hours I'll be back. Nothing new, just the same family who went on the waitlist the same day as I and they were referred twin girls (awesome). Hey, I want to know if anyone has gotten a referral before me! And if so, who? Then why! LOL LUNATIC! ME! I admit it!

In my off lunatic moments, I am doing useful projects like repainting my house. Yes, my entire house. I was just bored with it. I decorated my house about 5 or more years ago and it just didn't reflect who I am today, so it was time to start over. I have plenty of energy now, what the heck. Word to the wise, don't come and visit me or if you do, don't stand still too long because if you do, I just may paint you. Guess I'll go back to painting the living room and sunroom. I'm a little ADD so I have to do like 2-3 projects at once. I'll let you know when everything is finished and send you to whatever blog is showing my home which will more than likely be Desire to Inspire. It won't be until the spring/summer, I'll let you know.

How Old?

Gotta get this one out there...How old do you think Baby I will be at referral?

So far I have 3 guessing games going:

• Name
• Age
• Date

Who will win? Maybe I can come up with some sort of prize but I tell you...you might not get it until next year! LOL Maybe the AW will mail it for me.

Top 5 Baby Names

Well here are the top 5 baby names for Baby I. One is actually my sunshine's name:

1. Ila
2. Isla
3. Ivy
4. Isley
5. Imani

So many names, so little time.

Adoption Timeline

Why is it that my last Adoption Timeline update was 12/9/09?

LOL

I pretty much suck.

Hey Robbin?

Can you give me some dates for this timeline? You keep my dates better than me!

Guess I'll update them this weekend!

BTW...I'm going crazy over here. I must be if I'm blogging when I know no one reads! I think I'll email Gladney! LOL

Jesus Take The Wheel

I've been praying a lot lately and as my cousin said last night he believes that something great is about to happen for me (more than just Baby I although that will be AWESOME). This is not just my transition time but my time.

I took a whole lot of time (2+ years) to become "official" because I just had a lot of stuff going on in my mind and on my plate. Right now much of that "stuff" is gone, but please believe the rest of the stuff that is a major concern I'm working to eliminate...it will be out of here soon. What is the definition of insanity? Exactly! I'm no longer doing those same things over and over.

I want to have a clear head when Baby I comes home, but as my mother says there is never a perfect time. So, the one thing I have been doing all of these months is trying to get my life right with God...without Him I am nothing. I am much more peaceful, prayerful, faithful, joyful...all of those pleasant "ful" words. ;-)

Also, I forgot to share this little story that happened to me last year. I've always heard different people say how God spoke to them. I really would think yea, ok. I just didn't understand or know how that could happen until it happened to me. The week before last I went to sleep and in a dream God said to me "Tami I am your only way. Tami I am the only answer. Come to me for all of your problems. I am the only way." I woke up with a huge migraine (that's how I know when my dreams are real) and said ok, I get it...I hear you. Ever since then I've been recommitting my life. I'm so sold out on The G-O-D. I mean he is some kind of AWESOME - trust me - he has given me so much favor and carried me through so much when clearly I should have had much more than a bruised knee. How can I not love and adore him? How can I not be sold out on him?

Sorry for getting extra on you this morning but...I was just feeling it and had to tell you how Great My/Our God is and play one of my favorite songs for you.

Take it away Carrie:

I Used To Be Like This

It's so funny, when I started this process I was full of hope like this.

I had all the opinions in the world like this.

I kept my ears on the boards and made great fun like this.

If anyone plucked a nerve they got this.

I was always known to find a bargain, like this.

I shared my dreams, like this.

My house (in or out) was good for a laugh or two, like this.

But lately the only thing I seem to be full of or known for is this.

Yup.

A grumpy bear.

or

For those of you checking this blog a big fat ZERO!

I'm a Grump with nothing insightful to say like the other bloggers who blogged all the way up to their babes coming home...I guess I would have if this process would not have taken me so stinkin' long, sorry.

I'm trying to make lemonade over here but frankly I have a freakin' worm on the inside of it.

I'm sure by the time Baby I gets here there will be no blogging but I figure I will just keep this up as best possible for the few that have followed me for these excruciating 2+ years.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day Peeps!

Well, today is my last Valentine's Day as a childless mother. YAY! Is it crazy that I feel like a mother already? I'm starting to think more like one and I love it Maybe that will make me cook more, ha! I even have on my online dating profile that I'm a mother of 1. Hey, I will be very soon so he should get that now.

I didn't feel stressed out about today at all. I went to church then came home and took a nap! I love naps - I'll miss them when Baby I comes home. Did any of the "boys" in my life even wish me a Happy Valentine's Day? Hmmm...1 did! The others didn't. I know they say it is because they think Valentine's Day is a made up day and they don't care...honestly I don't really care much about it either but it would be nice to at least hear it. I didn't ask for cards, flowers or all of that, I would prefer to be treated nicely everyday but to not even say boo. Boo! And the boy I met (mentioned on the previous post) wants to know why he wasn't mentioned...hmmmm, case in point dude, case in point. The older we get, the more set in our ways we become but bending just a little bit for someone you are interested in is necessary. Actions speak louder than words but in this case it was the action of no words that absolutely spoke volumes!

Oh...back to the post point. Happy Valentine's Day Mommies! xoxoxox

Wonder Why Newspapers Are Failing?

They don't check facts anymore...and I'm mad about it that they tried to take Public Enemy down with the sinking ship!




This video still reminds me how "unattractive" Flava Flav is! What were those women thinking in The Flavor of Love...couldn't have been me!

Bummed Out

I'm so happy all of my blog buddies are getting their referrals, passing court and picking up their children but I am sad.  I want my daughter home.  I know this process has taken me forever due to personal reasons but now, that I am ready, I want Baby I home. I'm hoping my dossier will be on it's way to Ethiopia at the end of the month but that means at least 6 months of referral waiting but probably more like 7 or 8 then 6-7 weeks for court then another few weeks for travel.  Yes, I'm pretty bummed...but I know it gives me more time for things I know I must accomplish before Baby I.  

Hurry up documents!

Bored with Blog Name...again

I'm sooooooo bored with this blog name!  I created it at the beginning of the process before I really knew what a blog was and before I realized I even liked blogging.  Now, I have two blogs and even have a little online personality...therefore this blog name reallyyyy doesn't reflect what I would like it to.  Yes, Baby I is my blessing, but I have a "mo betta" blog name that I am dying to use.  What do you think?  Should I wait to re-do my blog until I finally get a referral (btw...I'm back to finishing my dossier) or should I start now?  Oh, I will have to change my address (have that) too because I want everything new.  

Hmmm, now that I've used the blog for my own therapy today, I've decided to wait because I really don't have anything new to say.  Same 'ole, same 'ole but just know as soon as I get my referral...WE'RE MOVING!   And you better come visit us at our swanky new spot!  

Domestic Foster/Adoption Also?

While I'm waiting for Baby I besides doing the normal things like shopping, working out and de-cluttering I've been watching a lot of TV.  OK so that is normal too, but I've been watching a lot of programs related to adoption, foster care and Ethiopia.  I may as well tug the heart strings for the next year or so.  

If you didn't know, before I made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia I considered adopting domestically but decided to wait until Baby I was home.  I've always wanted at least two children so a second domestic adoption is a real possibility.   I even completed all of my course work through DC Children and Family Services to adopt/foster from the city.  I was never quite sure if this was the right path for me but I've been thinking more and more about it lately.  

Over the Christmas Holidays I watched the TV special with Faith Hill Home for the Holidays where they celebrated adoption and showed a number of adoptive families telling their stories.  I sat in front of the TV for those few hours crying and thinking about older children needing homes just as much as I think about the children in Ethiopia needing homes.  I then knew I also had to foster/adopt a child from the States once Baby I came home.  There are so many children everywhere that need families, I just really want to live in a mansion and love up on them all day long.  

This past weekend I watched a Lifetime movie (TiVo) about a young man (America) in the foster care system.  Rosie O'Donnell is the psychiatrist that helps him come to terms with his roller coaster life.  


 

In typical Tami fashion, I got emotional.  I got knots in my stomach...the I have to do something else kind.  I just can't take it!  All of these statistics are killing me.

More than half of a million kids in foster care.  Once they age out of the system only 2 out of 10 will make it.  The others will end up homeless, in prison or dead.  I know adopting/fostering older children comes with other issues but someone has to do it.  But of course it is all just talk now, I really have to think all of this through and do a whole lot of planning.  A whole lot!  Maybe winning the lotto would be a plus also!