Blog Name Change

I have posted over 90 rants and raves. Who knew I had so much to say? Well, my mother and many of my teachers I'm sure would say "we did." Now, it is time for you all to know the truth about me...I tend to have a short attention span. I need to have frequent change (that is the Gemini in me or the Attention Deficit Disorder...heehee). So, now I'm bored! Not bored with posting, but bored with my blog name. What made me think I could pick one blog color and remain happy for a year or more? What was I thinking? I'm sure it was the excitement of the moment! Well, I need to change something about the blog and the most obvious is the name, it just doesn't reflect my current state. My adoption is and will forever be a blessing however, it is more than that. I am more than that. I want the name to be reflective of me, my life and our (me and Baby I) life. I've seen some really cool blog names out there, please help me find a new blog name.

WARNING...this is something like picking a baby name...it won't be easy! LOL OKAY...I'm open to suggestions.

What is he thinking?

I called one of my neighbors yesterday and he was spending the day with his daughter. Ordinarily I would have said great but, I said "isn't it Monday and shouldn't she be at school?" He said "yes, it is but, it is her birthday, she is turning 10." "Oh, okay I get it, it's a holiday." "Exactly" he said. "Okay, I'll talk to you later." I said

Okay, are you ready for my comment to this conversation? WHAT THE F#$@? Since when is it okay for a parent to take their child out of school to celebrate their birthday at Chuckie Cheese? Yes, yes I know a parent can do what he/she wants to do with their child but, what values are we instilling in our children when we show them that we can take them out of school at the drop of a hat to celebrate what most people celebrate on the weekends. Let's be serious, it's not a religious holiday, Christmas or even President's Day...it's a 10 year old's birthday for goodness sakes. I wanted to tell my neighbor to get a grip, go buy some cupcakes, goody bags and drop his kid off at school but then I remembered a few things.

First, I heard my mother saying "Tami mind your business." So, I didn't say a word instead I'm complaining to the blogosphere. Next, I remembered this is the same person that gets his kid a personal shopper at Nordstroms. Yes, a personal shopper! The first time I heard this I said to him "Excuse me? Haven't you ever heard of TJ Maxx, Nordstrom Rack or Potomac Mills (the outlet mall)." He said "Oh no, I've never taken my daughter to one of those stores." I laughed and said, "hmm...silly you. My kid will love them, be happy and very cute. What she will never see is a personal shopper from Nordstroms unless it is her own money!"

SIGHHHH...what is he thinking or maybe it's just me. Maybe Baby I will be deprived because my mother had this theory unless I was dying...I was going to school every single day!!!!!!!! She did allow me to miss senior cut day though. I didn't want to cut so I told her it was senior cut day and she let me stay home. That was nice. Oh, and it was the time when I wore a mini skirt to school (when they were not allowed...yes, I'm dating myself here) and they sent me home to change but my mother was mad because she said it wasn't too short and let me stay home all day...that was it! I missed two days from school (let's not talk about the days I was suspended that is another post LOL)...the other days I missed I was dying! Lesson for Baby I: it's school or you better be dying.

Are you Ethiopian?

This past weekend I went to my favorite Ethiopian restaurant (Addis Ababa) in downtown Silver Spring. Every time I go I get asked "are you Ethiopian?" This is how the scene usually goes (and how it went on Saturday night). We entered a crowed restaurant, the hostess comes to me and says something in Amharic. I smile and say hello. She still doesn't get it, then says something else in Amharic pointing to two different tables. I choose one table, my friend says no choosing the other, we sit down. The waitress comes back smiling at me and saying hello to him politely. She gives us menus, I proceed to explain to him the food selection and he just says for me to order whatever is good. The waitress is standing behind him while he says all of this. I place the order, she smiles as I order him an Ethiopian Beer and myself Ethiopian Honey Wine. I think the waitress finally started to pick up on the fact that I was not responding to anyone in Amharic...hmmm.

My friend said the hostess and the other waitresses were taking bets on if I was Ethiopian or not. I said I know, it happens all of the time. It never fails, in DC it is pretty much assumed I am Ethiopian only ocassionally do I get Dominican (I'm not offended, it's kinda cool). Finally, my waitress comes and asks me "are you Ethiopian?" I say no. She looked a little shocked and disappointed. She walked away quickly and that was that. I didn't get anymore big smiles from her all night. sighhhhhhhh I didn't even have a chance to say my proud statement..."I'm in the process of adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia!" I love saying that!

My friend had a huge laugh, made lots of jokes, and said I better learn Amharic fast before I'm accused of not being proud of my heritage. I guess I better find an Amharic class in 2008!

*Sidebar: In my heritage research I found out that DNA from the Fulani tribe shares some of the same DNA from that of Ethiopians some more some less. Maybe when my daughter comes I'll get tested more to find out if we share similar DNAs.

Holiday Time Again?

This year is going so fast. I can't believe I am seeing commercials for Christmas already! Every year I say I am not going to be Ebeneezer Scrooge but I'm not going to lie, I feel myself starting to get in a blah mood already. I remember how much I loved Christmas as a kid growing up, it was awesome! We always had a big tree, lots of food, family and of course I had lots of toys/gifts! I'm so tired of it just being me on Christmas!!!!! I want to play Santa Claus, fix big dinners and create my own family traditions.

My best friend invited me to LA to spend Christmas with her and her family (btw she had her baby last Tuesday, they named him Christian). I may or may not go, I haven't decided yet. However, I do know one thing, this is my last year of having a solo Tami Christmas. Next year will be my first year of a Mommy and Baby I Christmas. It will be the beginning of my family traditions.

I Help Where I Can

I thought I would try something new. I've received several emails (some nice and some not so nice) from current mothers and other PAPs saying they appreciate my straightforward comments, I provide them a view they need for raising a child from the Diaspora. Okay, I said that, they said Ethiopian, black or African American child. LOL Anyway, I thought this would be a good month to open up my blog to questions. The kinds of questions you were afraid to ask someone else, didn't have anyone else to ask or simply wanted another opinion.

When you send me questions they don't post automatically (I have to approve them first) so you can either send them to me anonymously or you can include your name. I will not post your questions in the comments section if you ask me not to. I'm not trying to "out" anyone for their questions. I'm actually looking to be helpful and simply looking for something to write about for these 30 days! LOL If I don't get any questions...I'll make something up!!!!! Just kidding. I'll think of something witty to write about (as usual).

So, what questions do you have??? I'm sure there is something that you have been dying to ask but you didn't have anyone to ask, here is your opportunity!

Education is Key

A few weeks back on the adoption boards a conversation took place where a mother was having a difficult time making a decision as to whether she should place her Ethiopian child in a public charter or traditional public school. Neither school was ranked extremely high academically but the charter school was located closer to her job, primarily black and had a slight gang/violence problem. The traditional public school was located closer to her home but was almost all white. She was torn. She felt she had an opportunity to provide her child(ren) with a black experience and wanted to do so since neither school seemed to be any better but she was concerned about the violence...AND RIGHTLY SO.

My friends and I have spent time debating where the best place to send our children to school is. I live in DC and we definitely have a number of educational challenges, as well as choices: charter, public and private schools. But you better believe I want nothing to do with anything that is segregated. As much as I love who I am, I know who I am (and I will make sure that so does Baby I) so I don't need an all Black grade school for my child to know that. I want my child to know and appreciate the entire world of diversity - other cultures, foods and languages - it is who she is, who I am and who my friends are. However, I understand this is an issue for some families.

We are in a time of crisis in public education but, there are great things going on in every city and don't let anyone tell you there is not. Also, don't let anyone tell you bad things about good options such as charter schools. Charter schools are good options for our children but not every charter school works but guess what? Neither do all public schools and many haven't worked for say 50 years now. At least if a charter school is not performing they shut it down, I can't say that for traditional public schools.

Don't let the race card stand in the way of your child's education. Fight for what you believe your child deserves. This is your child's future. Don't just put your black child around some black kids during the day because you feel guilty for being white or living in an all white community if the school you are going to send your child to is substandard and the environment is not safe--you will be doing your child a disservice (and I know you don't want to do that). No one can learn in an unsafe environment. It's sad to say but, it is very difficult to get gang activity and violence out of schools and to get high quality teachers that will tolerate unsafe environments. So, just remember when thinking about where to send your child to school, the best education isn't just about academics but, it also includes factors like violence and ethnic composition of a school (scary we have to think about these things isn't it, but we do). Yes, so much to think about.

Duped by National Adoption Month

Yes, today is the first day of National Blog Posting Month and also the first day of National Adoption Month or is that National Adoption Awareness Month. I know what the first one means (I have to write everyday for 30 days) but I don’t really know what the second one is so I did a little research. I found out there is a National Adoption Day, National Adoption Week, and get this I thought National Adoption Month was to bring awareness to the issue of adoption in general but silly me “while all adoption-related issues are important, the particular focus of this month is the adoption of children currently in foster care.” Oh, I’m sorry then shouldn’t we have a National Foster Care Month? What’s that? May is National Foster Care Month.

Okay, before everyone sends me hate mail I tried to understand the difference of National Adoption Awareness Month. I wanted to see if someone unofficially did this to include all areas of adoption not just foster care. As you may or may not know National Adoption Month is actually recognized by the President. I want to believe that someone was thoughtful enough to realize that National Adoption Month was simply divisive to the adoption community and did not include international adoption or even those that never went through the foster care system. However, I kept finding the same definition even for National Adoption Awareness Month so I can't help but feel a little duped by the title National Adoption Month. This month really isn't about me/us...the focus is about adopting out of foster care and oh yea... we know you are adopting also but...whatever! I'm sorry, I just don't get a warm fuzzy feeling from the definition of National Adoption Month.

When I talk about adoption, I speak about it for all children domestically and internationally, my choice just happened to be internationally because it worked better for me. I guess I thought this is what National Adoption Month or National Adoption Awareness Month would be...something inclusive of all facets of adoption.