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Top 5 Baby Names

Well here are the top 5 baby names for Baby I. One is actually my sunshine's name:

1. Ila
2. Isla
3. Ivy
4. Isley
5. Imani

So many names, so little time.

Let's Play: Guess that Date!

I was told by the Adoption Whisperer (AW-Robbin) that it was time for me to play a few games. So, Robbin, here I go following the rules of the adoption blogdom (or is that blogsphere?).

This game is just for shintz and giggles because I am terrible about mailing packages (sometimes they never get mailed). Sad, but true...so, there are NO prizes. Unless of course the AW wants to provide one to the winner. ;-)

Moving on...passing time.

When do you think I'll get my referral?

Entrance to Wonder

There would have been no wonder without the doorway that Alice finally managed to enter. That colorful and whimsical doorway foretold what adventures were waiting for Alice on the other side.

That must mean that Baby I must have a fabulous door for her room and life of wonder to come. You got it! I bought my baby a new door today (the room didn't have a door so and any ole door would not do, nope!).

Behold the entrance to Baby I's Wonderland (oh, the picture stinks b/c I have no camera). It is so tiny it's anti-climatic I know but you get the point. :-).

Today I Shed a Tear (Tears)

Today I shed my first adoption tear.

No, I had a big cry and it was at work.

Why?

A former co-worker had just returned from a soul searching two-month trip to India to visit her birth and adoptive parents. She was talking about how great the trip was, but at some point in the conversation she mentioned how her birth mother had been sad at different points in her life (she knew her, although she didn't find out that it was her birth mother until she was an adult) about giving her up for adoption (to a family member). At that point it clicked that my excitement (about this adoption) was at the cost of someone's grief. How excited I was, but how sad a mother and family must be to be giving a child up. That made my heart literally hurt and stomach sink, I just started crying at work. My friend had to come across the desk and calm me down then take me and buy me hot chocolate. She provided as much encouragement and support as she could and the only words I could muster were:

"I just want to do the right thing and be a great mother."

I guess as I'm on the final countdown to my referral it is getting very real and these are probably normal worries. I just pray that the little spirit that God blesses me to watch over that her birth mother and family have enough faith to know that she will be ok. That God has placed her with a mother who has been preparing for her and waiting for her for a long time. That she will love, support, guide and raise her to be a proud, smart, respectful, Christian, fun loving, creative and confidant woman. Proud to be all that she is by birth and by growth. Baby I has much to look forward to and as her mother so do I and even with the tears today and the ones I will undoubtedly have to come, SO DO I! I can't wait.

Stay Tuned...

Baby I in Wonderland

I'm working on the nursery! If you didn't remember (how could you since it was years ago) I am a part time interior decorator, so I am somewhat particular when it comes to my design. Translation very slow! I have been thinking about this nursery for a year! LOL It is going to be a combination of the following three rooms -- if you have any imagination but there won't be any big pictures of panties I promise! I started to block that out but it made me laugh so I left it alone, I figured you would scratch your head a little and say what the heck is that Tami up to now? In my house we are calling it Baby I in Wonderland. ;-)

Top Baby Names

Okay, my faithful blog friend Sen (why am I not connected with you on facebook) asked me about Baby names. Let's play. I already have a name picked out because...I like it! So, why don't you guess. Feel free to give me your feedback, I'm not going to change it...it will just be fun. Will I tell you before referral? No. lol If you know her name...play along and act stupid. ;-)

Top Names for Baby I:

1. Icelynn
2. Isabella
3. Ivy
4. Isla
5. Isley
6. Iman
7. Isra
8. Ila
9. Ilana
10. Imani

So much for 5. It's in there. Good Luck. Maybe I'll narrow it down to Top 5 in a week or so.

So, How Should I Be Acting?

I had a friend question if I was preparing properly for my daughter to come home (forgive me friend if this is not what you meant). I stopped being stressed long ago about this adoption process. When my referral of my precious Baby I comes it comes, until then I am enjoying my summer, making adjustments and "getting my life/house together." I think I've done pretty much everything I need to thus far:

• childcare identified
• support systems in place
• doctor (I need to work on that)
• bedroom room set-up (I'll do that at referral)
• cultural relationships/friends established for Mommy and Baby I

Now, I'm just chillin', working on a few projects, getting to know some new people (some of which I won't know after this summer, but a free meal and a few laughs can't be bad) and just being. Possibly my nonstressed out attitude from the days of yore (really this is who I "used" to be, that crazy questioning, stressed chic is ALMOST gone!) have my friends concerned or have them thinking I'm not preparing properly but...I actually think I'm good. And as my mother told me, no matter how hard I try I'm going to miss something so I need to just relax.

So, my question to you all...what were you doing the last few months while waiting for your child(ren) to come home?

Square Biz - Again???

Remember this post: http://tami-borninmyheart.blogspot.com/2008/10/calling-all-squares.html

It's that time again. My friend, who is making Baby I's quilt, said I better start collecting all of the squares, so I thought I would try this again. Last time I was a, well, uh...square failure. I never sent off my squares to the other people who sent me squares. And the bad thing about it is, I had their squares. I still have their squares, in my office, with the envelopes and everything. I am just terrible about mailing things. If I have to mail something, I now know, it probably won't get done...online billpayer is for me.

So, if you want to participate in the quilt for Baby I (clearly not for her trifling mother) please do! Here is how:

1. Choose ANY 100% cotton fabric that you like of African origin or that has special meaning (just tell us what it is).

2. Pre-wash and press the fabric. Then cut two (2) 8" squares from the fabric.

3. Include your "good wish note" on a 3 x 5 card, being sure to sign and date it. I will place all your wishes in a scrapbook that will be given to Baby I one day. If you decide to participate THANKS and I can't wait to see the squares you send! If you don't participate...I'll still like you anyway, read your blog and let you read mine. :-)

Please leave me a message (with your email address if I don't have it) if you would like to participate and I will send you my mailing address.

My Big Mouth- Part Duex

Before I get to Part Duex, what about the boy? He is in Italy! Hmmm...yeah...have at it!

Now, moving on to my Big Azz Mouf!

So, I was on the phone with my bestfriend and was talking about my free car seat. How it was okay but I didn't plan on using it in my car. It didn't look comfy enough for my baby girl's precious, diva head. Let's not even mention it wasn't cute enough to be in my car. She agreed that I should get a Britax. But then I couldn't leave well enough alone, it was like I had diarrhea of the mouth. I then said, you know the car seat will be good for an extra car. I'm going to give it to A and her husband because they are going to help me with pickups plus since she is the godmother I have to make sure she has all the tools. OOOOPPPPPSSSSSSS! As soon as I said it I was like #$%! I never had that conversation with her to tell her the reasons why I chose the other friend as the godmother. As soon as I said it I heard her say OOOHHH. It was shock and disbelief. You know like Be-atch we've been best friends for 20 years and this is how you treat me! I felt about the size of an ant right then saying please step on me. So, in hopes of creating a diversion, I just did what I do best...kept talking. I mentioned "the other woman" again so it didn't seem so obvious. Mind you, I knew I messed up but what was I supposed to do? Well, I didn't have to do anything, my bestie got off the phone with me, along with the shock in her voice. I was so distraught. I never want to hurt her feelings because I love her bunches. Literally my heart was hurting at that moment because I knew hers was. I didn't know what to do but I had to act fast. I was afraid to call again, so I did what any self respecting woman would do who just stuck her foot in her mouth I sent an email! The email was grovelling and went something like this:

...I would go to the end of the earth for you. I shed tears for you. I won’t give you my last dime (LOL) but I will split it with you as we have both proven that. I never, ever, ever, ever want to heart you. You are closer to me than my sisters...you ARE my family. I see you as my child’s aunt, my child’s family. When I thought about raising my daughter alone and creating a family for her alone in DC I thought about who my friends were. ...they are amazingly good friends and parents. They are always there for me and have promised to help me with Baby I when she comes home...pickups from daycare, babysitting, etc. And for Latinos, padrinos are very important roles not taken lightly...it really is a parental role. I want Baby I to know that although she is being raised by a single mother that she comes from a community that loves her dearly and this choice I made to “have” her was not taken lightly and she will have has much normalcy (role models and family) as I can provide. I often feel bad that I am not there to be a part of my godson's life while he is growing up. I don’t want him to just know me on the phone, I want him to know me and really love me like he does his other Aunts, but right now I’m just that person Aunt Tami (on the phone). I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER would intentionally hurt you...now unintentionally...that has been proven many times...lol. I love you as much as I love me...even as I type this I have tears in my eyes b/c I was am so... I’m an idiot......please forgive my stupidity and mouth that just won’t stop sometimes. I gotta work on that!

Yes, this is part of the actual email. It isn't that eloquent and has lots of mistakes but I was frantic and just had to get something out. This should give you an idea of what was going on in my head.

Her response was...

"It caught me off guard but I understand. It was difficult deciding with the two kids so I know the thought process. no worries, my feelings aren't hurt."

We've never spoken on the topic again. I know it mattered and hurt but this MOUF has a mind of its own on occasion!

Now, you are probably wondering what is going to happen now that I have this information on the blog. Won't it bring up bad memories again? The answer is...No. Neither of them read the blog so I'm pretty safe. Now, they will probably both read it and respond to this post and my poor little baby won't have any godparents and it will all be because of her mamma's MOUF!

My Stupid Big Mouth - Part I

My bestest friend (K) in the world lives in LA. We have been like two peas in a pod since college, hmmm (covering mouth) years ago. I don't see her as much as I would like, maybe once a year, but we talk a few times a week. We've had normal ups and downs yet we always come out on top. I am the Godmother to her first child who is now 4. I was the maid of honor in her wedding. I knew her husband in college as well although she didn't. When either one of us has money and the other doesn't, we send it. When we shop for ourselves, the other is likely to get something as well. When one of us needs a bill paid and the other has it, we do it. We know all of the other's dirty little secrets (of course I don't have any of those). There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other.

Now, the tricky part.

When I decided to choose Baby I's godmother/godparents that was a tough decision for me. Since I am single I wanted it to be more than in name sake. Some people choose godparents because they were guilted in to it or others because they are good friends. I wanted to choose the person/people who my daughter would not only love but who would see on a regular basis and feel like she really is a part of their lives. What if something does happen to me and I walk through those pearly gates? I want to make sure Baby I has the least amount of transition as possible. I want her to have the same (or like) experiences that I would provide with the family and know she is wanted. Also, because I am single, I want to make sure I have a positive male role model in her life at all times. I want to have seen the man (who is her godfather) interact with both children and adults alike. Basically, just as I was/am to my mother, my baby is going to mean everything to me so choosing padrinos (godparents) was tough.

Enter A.

A and I met about 5 years ago and have been hanging tough ever since. We just clicked. A, her husband and 9 year old daughter live 5 minutes from me. She took me to the hospital at 4am when I was literally on my death bed. She always has a helping hand and ear. We are crafty together. Run our weekend errands together. Hold yard sales together. Eat dinner regularly together and text when annoyed. Her husband is awesome with their daughter and other kids. Our family shares culture and they are committed to children in general.

Both K and A are my closest friends for different reasons but ironically we love similar things and hate the others as well. I am blessed to have them both.

So, who did I choose as Baby I's godparents and where does my stupid big mouth come in to play? I'll tell you in the next post. I would say tomorrow but if you know me you know that really may not happen. ;-)

Raisins?

Since I had absolutely nothing to do today (my last year of this! YEAHHH), I have been cleaning out my blog reader. I had over 130 blogs I was trying to keep up with. It was actually stressing me so I got rid of about 50. Now, If you do the calculation I still have over 80. Next holiday or snow day I'm getting rid of more...this is a full-time job I tell you...I'm sure I won't be getting rid of yours though. ;-)

Anyhoo, while looking at blogs I came across a man who did a raisin experiment with his son 2 years in a row. The first year when his kid was 3, his son seemed pretty happy about the raisins ranking his squeal a 6 out of 10. The second year when he was 4 his son was none too happy. As a matter of fact he couldn't believe he had "RAISINS!...You gave me raisins? Here, put this in your food!" O. MY. GOODNESS. This is the funniest Christmas present opening I have ever heard. It is a classic. Listen to both audio recordings here. It is so funny that I think I may do that experiment with Baby I but not using raisins. I'm looking forward to tormenting my child(ren) just as my mother did me! Opps I mean loving them dearly! LOL

Deal of the Day

You know by now that I am a thrift store loving, bargain finding, vintage wearing, trendy yet couture, bohemian mama (soon to be).  So, since I have time to kill I'm starting a new posting called Deal of the Day.  Robbin knows I like to call it Thrift Store Thursdays, but you never know where I'll find a deal and some I'll share with you so stay tuned.  

This past week I got a jogging stroller, vintage school desk and hangers.  I wasn't looking for any of the items but... Rule #1 of bargain shopper - be open to a bargain at any time! 

The Stroller - $21.96

This Bell jogging stroller looks like it was never used more than a few times.  It's in perfect condition not evan a fingerprint on the foam handle bar.  If you know anything about jogging strollers you know they are pricey; I got this baby for a song...hmmm....Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah (remember that from church?)!

The Vintage School Desk - $4.54

In my family room I have a ginormous vintage chalkboard that I got on Freecycle (note...free).  It's like 8-10 feet long.  Baby I is going to have her own corner so when I am washing, in my office or watching the tube she can play.  Her playroom is on the second loft level, but I won't feel comfortable with her all the way up there until she is much older.  Plus, I followed my mother from room to room...I think I still do when she is around.  I recall last month when she left the room I said "Mommy where are you going?"  She said "the bathroom."  Me..."can I go?"  Just joking...but I did ask.  

I think the desk will go nicely and look Fab once repainted and cleaned up!  It looks like a big girl/boy desk but it is made for toddlers.  

The hangers - $6.48 for 95

And just as I was trying to escape from the store I saw these colorful hangers.  It looks like someones grandmother (definitely not mine) carefully knitted coverings for all of them.  They are so cute and will look fabulous in Baby I's closet.  NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!  Right now the closet is full of baby hangers so I'll just pack them away for a few years until her clothes can fit them.  I had to get them.  You know the rule...Be prepared for a bargain at any time!  And Rule #2- You snooze you loose or think long, think wrong.  A thrift store doesn't keep items long.  If you like it/love it...get it because it will NOT (I repeat WILL NOT) be there when you turn the corner to come back and get it.  I've had many a bargain woe is me stories.  :-)

Tell me about your bargains and where you got them from.  I'm always open to new place where I can get a bargain.  

See you soon for Deal of the Day!

Sew What?

While I'm waiting for my final documents to come in the mail and to pass the time until Baby I comes home, maybe I'll start sewing again.  Yes, I can sew, but I don't like difficult projects.  Lazy.  

While surfing the web I found this cute pattern (on Etsy) for a little bubble skirt. 


Maybe I'll make this hat also for next fall/winter.


Sew what do you think?

Baby Sightings

Last night was the first night (where in my dream) I actually saw Baby I's face.  Wow.  What a beautiful face it is...she was very tiny (no surprise) had a beautiful brown complexion, piercing eyes and a tiny little bit of slicked down hair on her round head.  When I saw her and held her I just started crying.  

I know we all have these dreams of seeing our child(ren), but I still have this real feeling in my stomach.  Like little butterflies.  Maybe I am now having these dreams again because dossier completion is around the corner...that's weeks in adoption speak.  

Close To My Heart

Since I am on the count down to dossier completion (waiting for final appointments only), I thought I would love to have one of those lovely Ethiopian necklaces so many wear when waiting for their babes to come home.  Then I thought, everyone has one, I want something different and I really don't want to explain why I'm wearing a shape of Africa around my neck to a random stranger. Yes, after 2 years in this process you get a little tired of answering questions (me: Because. Why not? You should try it. How many children have you adopted in Africa, America or otherwise?...oops I digress). Something I can call my own and maybe pass on to Baby I.  I'm sentimental like that.  So, on one of my thrift days or as I call it Thrift Store Thursdays (everything is 25% off or on holidays it's 50%) I found this great vintage locket.  It's not an ordinary locket but this huge long one.  I'm so excited.  I can put Baby I's picture in it, but until then I'll put a small map of Ethiopia in it with the name Baby I on the other side. 

When I don't have hair all over my head and sleep in my eyes I'll take a picture wearing the locket.  You're gonna love it...I know I do!

On the Count Down to Fabric Love

I've received a few calls and emails from people wondering what is going on with me and the status of my adoption...basically wth (heck) is going on!  Here's the skinny:

- sitting here (obviously)

- simultaneously finishing my FINAL...repeat after me...FINAL updates (for everything) and DOSSIER! 

- waiting for my fingerprint appointment which is Oct. 28 (I believe)

- believing my dossier will FINALLY be submitted within the next 30 days!  Yes, yuck it up.  

Now I can get my count on.  

Why did I take so long with all of the concerns and changes with singles?  Well, life happens!  I am a firm believer that What God Has For You Is For You.  No, life is never going to be perfect or there is never going to be a perfect time to be a parent, but in my heart of hearts my spirit and my God said peace be still.  I had to be still until I was at peace with whatever came forth in my life (and with the adoption)...

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and  your minds in Christ Jesus. ”  Philippians 4: 6­7 

Finally, I'm at peace.  Let the wait begin!!!!!

In other exciting, breaking news.  I picked out a fabric for the baby's room, although you have about 6 months of my decor changes...I really like this one.  Fun no?  My mother said "WOW, busy!"  I said, "Of course and fun too!"  You can't have the prima donna II (my family calls me prima donna I) now can you?  LOL

What do you think?   It is a vintage fabric I found for $4!  I love it even if you don't, I've never been one to follow many trends.  It should give you hints at what's soon to come...but if you know some of the hints can you tell me because I honestly haven't figured them out yet.  LOL

Love These!

How cute are these coats and hat by Lemon Loves Lime? Kinda pricey, but heck I have another season or two before Baby I can wear them so I'm looking forward to SALE time!

Mama and Baby will Sparkle Together

I'm not very subtle.  Shocker.  I like to get my point across.  In my talk, walk, dress or writing (lol).  I'm bohemian, couture, vintage, glittery and love sparkles!  

A few weeks ago, on one of my thrift store haunts, I found a silver metallic vintage baby dress that will match a top I have.  Sold.  I couldn't hold my excitement.  Baby I will be a little vintage couture fly baby.  LOL   Now, all I need is my baby.  Help me!  

FYI...my top used to be a fabulous dress that I wore with pride, 10 years ago, when I was a size 4-6.  AWWW...dem was the days.  If I could figure out how to get my printer (I've only had my Mac over a year now) working with my Mac I would scan a lovely picture for you.  Youth.

OMG...I missed my 2 year anniversary!

Can you believe it?  I've been blogging for 2 years!  I certainly thought Baby I would be home by now.  So many of you have said you saw my blog before you even began your process and now your baby is home.  Some people who used to like me don't even show me any love anymore (insert sad face here) probably because they hate my ramblings or because there is no cute little face to look at.  How do you think I feel!  LOL  

Man plans and God does.  So many things have happened in the last two years that have been of my doing and some not but the end result was the same, it wasn't time.  As much as I wanted it to be my time, it wasn't but now my time is coming.  I no longer stress anything.  I just know that it is.  I just know that God's timing and his hand in my life is perfect.  It always is perfect...and as much as I hate to admit it, the last two years of my life have been perfect as well.  Full of pain, hurt, tears, trauma and drama but perfect because without that I would not be here in the glory of today's peace being able to say..."I made it through."  I am now that much stronger.  Not only will I be a better mother for Baby I, I am now a better person and for that I am so grateful.  

To see how my journey began one year ago click here.