I Used To Be Like This

It's so funny, when I started this process I was full of hope like this.

I had all the opinions in the world like this.

I kept my ears on the boards and made great fun like this.

If anyone plucked a nerve they got this.

I was always known to find a bargain, like this.

I shared my dreams, like this.

My house (in or out) was good for a laugh or two, like this.

But lately the only thing I seem to be full of or known for is this.

Yup.

A grumpy bear.

or

For those of you checking this blog a big fat ZERO!

I'm a Grump with nothing insightful to say like the other bloggers who blogged all the way up to their babes coming home...I guess I would have if this process would not have taken me so stinkin' long, sorry.

I'm trying to make lemonade over here but frankly I have a freakin' worm on the inside of it.

I'm sure by the time Baby I gets here there will be no blogging but I figure I will just keep this up as best possible for the few that have followed me for these excruciating 2+ years.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

FYI...

I know I owe you all many posts, but I have been crazy busy with work. I promise part 2 of the "my baby godparents" story in a few days but until then I have an ANNOUNCEMENT.

I met this man ( a few months ago) who I gave my adoption blog address to this week. He looked at it and wanted to know why I hadn't mentioned him. Hmmmm...because you may not be around long enough for anyone to really care I wasn't thinking! But, since he asked...I decided to appease, hmmm humor share my enthusiasm about meeting him. So, here it goes...

I MET A BOY! He's cute, nice, employed, funny, a Christian and a little difficult but I think you need to be a little difficult lest I run allover you. There you have it MAN!

Bigger & Deffer

As I've gotten older many things have changed and one of those is my hair. My hair used to be crazy thick and crazy long (I could sit on it). But, I got it cut then started the necessary dye at age 25 due to being prematurely gray. So now I have regular, pretty unremarkable hair (to me). It is never going to grow to my butt again and frankly I'm over that. Ok...I do miss it but why cry over spilled milk....I just want something stylish. Since I wear my hair natural 80% of the time I want a hairstyle that works. So, in the spring/summer I'm going to go to a curly salon in NYC and get this cut.

My hair now. It's not to much different. The cut will add a little more volume. Make it Bigger & Deffer.

I love the cut but my mother and best friend don't. Not that I care (sorry Mom) but I like their feedback anyway. What do you think? Like, love or hmmm...not really. Again, not that I care but I thought I would ask. You won't ever be able to confuse me for a stodgy Mom.

BTW...for those of you who don't know what deffer is...remember LL Cool J's Bigger & Deffer album back in the day? I need love...

Thanks Blogdom!

After 6 days and all of the kind words of support, I have decided to continue blogging!  It's great therapy after all and if I have people silly enough to consistently read my musings, who am I to deny them.  :-)  So, I'm officially back to blogging...okay, at least for now.  LOL  

Thanks for the support, you all are the BESTEST (yup...bestest).    See you tomorrow!  

Nie Nie Day

One of the women (and her husband) from the many blogs that I read was in a plane crash last week. She and her husband (Christian and Stephanie Nielson) are a young couple with four children under the age of six. They are in critical condition. Stephanie has third degree burns covering 80% of her body and Christian has third degree burns over 30% of his body. The recovery will be very long and very expensive.

Today, several websites right now 165 are auctioning off items for their benefit. Go here to see the comprehensive list www.designmom.com.  I saw lots of very cool items and many baby things.  

Updates about Stephanie and Christian here: http://blog.cjanerun.com/   Shop on bloggers and if you win anything let me know. Baby I says I can't shop (boo hoo), but I can live vicariously through you (or is that shop vicariously through you)?!

Girlfriend Chatter

Before I FINALLY comment on the CNN special let me catch you up a little.  I probably don’t have anymore blog readers, but what the hey.  I’ve been pretty inconsistent this summer, but one of my summer resolutions is to do me and that is what I am trying to do.  Unfortunately, my blog has been suffering, but I know all of the others have been holding it down!  

I’ve found trying to do me, takes more energy and time than I thought (who knew?).  I have FINALLY admitted that I cannot do it ALL! This is a major resolution for me so I deserve some kudos for this people! But guess what? I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be superwoman anymore, just the best woman I can be. Hell, superwoman isn’t real anyway and all of those women who say they can do it all (I think) are on Prozac, Xanex or some other drug running around trying to do it all! Not me. I’m going to take my little piece of the pie and move on. Now, I just need to figure out what kind of pie I want! ☺  Too many choices!!!!! 

I’ve let go of several “friendships” this summer that meant no good for Baby I or me. I’ve stopped discussing my plans with everyone because I finally get that not everyone cares about them. If I were pregnant, they would be totally happy with hearing all of my plans and so supportive, but since I’m not they are not interested…too bad for them. I’ve learned to stop justifying who I am and my choices for my life and for Baby I. I mean come on people…I’m almost 40 years old; don’t you think I’ve thought this through?  

On the adoption front…because I was on the slow road I was just told that even though my home study was just approved in March my first home study visit was in October so guess what that means? I have to have my entire home study updated, which essentially means done over!!!!! Can you say MORE $$$$$$ and MORE documentation!!!!!  ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!. One of the new guidelines for Gladney is that we don’t curse on our blogs (and I’m trying to eliminate the use of those words from my vocabulary, but I can’t help but still think them in times of frustration…hey I know them!) so I can’t put any curse words here but please fill in all the ones you know right here $$##@@@@&&&!!!!...this is how I feel. I know it is not Gladney’s fault that I was on the slow road, but what can I do…NADA!  In the end when Baby I is home and in my arms will I really care about the extra everything?  NOPE..OF COURSE NOT, but right now how am I feeling????