Sunday, February 8, 2009

No News is Just... Purgatory

I haven't had any dreams.  

I haven't done any shopping.

My agency is not providing any hope.

I'm just here.  

Frustrated with the whole process but still here.  I have friends that started the process with me being put on waitlist but not me...I can only wait until my time which apparently is FOREVER!!!!!!!  

I feel like I'm stuck in purgatory!  

Am I a tad bit annoyed?

Yup!  Purgatory.  Annoyed.  

Oh, well.  Even if all singles were grandfathered with the current waitlist Baby I probably wouldn't be home until the summer of 2010 anyway.  What's 6 more months right?  I'm praying for a late summer 2010 referral and picking my Baby Girl up Dec. 2010.  I don't even want to talk about the new rumors that all singles are going to be banned come Sept. 2009, that is just too much for me even to deal with at this moment.  

I guess it is just the fact that I am being told they can't and won't even look at my paperwork until the 2010-2011 court year that sits on a nerve.  

I just want my baby home!!!!!!!!

OK...back to regularly scheduled programing!  

Thanks for listening/reading.  


Kerri said...


Tami said...

Oh Kerri,

You know me...I'm just B@$%in'. LOL

Robbin said...

Oh Ms. Tami!!! There is something about not feeling that HOPE isn't it? Its almost as if negative energy is enveloping us and stealing out any joy that we could possibly muster out of this SUCKY process. I haven't shopped, won't look at any blogs.... just not feeling the happiness right now.

But Hope, Hope is all that we can hold on to. Because without Hope there is no life.

So please dear friend, hang in there.

We will make it.


haze said...

I'm sorry, Tami. I know it becomes impossible to keep the faith when you hit a low. But I believe it WILL get better for you and you WILL have Baby I home before Xmas 2010.

kristine said...

Hang in there!

Are there other countries that you can look at at the same time? I know you've thought of that. I just can't help myself with the giving advice.

It took us years to have Quinn. In retrospect I know how it all went was how it was all destined to go. I learned to not give up, to keep on pushing. Now this is three years in the adoption process. Not easy...I'm looking at other counties (Again!) and now Rwanda might be an option.

Anyway, just keep on keepin on and one day you're baby girl will be home.

-C said...

I am really sorry Tami. Like Kristine, I too feel like doling out all kinds of advice like looking into another country simultaneously- but I am sure you have already thought every option through countless times. Please hang on, be strong- you will become a Momma.

Anonymous said...

According to the Department of State, there IS NO LIMIT on singles! This news came through on February 3. I asked the president of PEAR (Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform) to look into it, so it's a pretty good indication that the limits aren't coming from Ethiopia (yet). Hope this gives a little hope to you.

Tami said...

Right now I'm not going to think about another country. I'm prayerful that Ethiopia will work out, I have to remember that all things happen the way they are supposed to. Just keep me in your thoughts and things will work out one way or another...meanwhile, expect me to complain every now and then!

Barbara said...

Keep the faith baby!

LoveNotes4CocoPrincess said...

Yeah, what Barbara said!

I don't believe everything people tell me because I don't live in or under a "people system" and neither do you!

What does GOD say? Ask Him! If your hearts desire is Baby I, then so be it and we both will just stand and agree on that okay?

Sista pleeeeeese, I know what semi-hell feels like, but guess what...yep, it's only a feeling and it "ain't yo reality"!

Cheer up, drink a beer and be owt!

Tami said...

You are right! I'm going to have a party. I'm going to be a Momma. Baby I will be home soon. I'll just wait!

-C said...


Just back here to comment on your comment on my blog post about the blog book yesterday. Sorry that sounds really confusing. Just want to say that I REALLY REALLY want you to contribute to this book. I think you have such a unique perspective on this journey being in the situation you are in now and I really want single moms to be represented throughout the book. I also think it is a good idea to have a chapter devoted to our every day lives. The reason I initially stated that it would only be available in the adoption community was because I was worried that it being widely available might turn some bloggers off. But when we see if we get enough essays to actually publish this book I will put out some feelers on this.

Thanks again for your suggestions and keep them coming.


Anonymous said...

hang in there my friend!!

Bennett said...

Tami! Hang in there, everyone has given some really encouraging advice. I think of you all the time adn this crazy situation and all that if effects. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.


Anonymous said...

It took 16 months for the entire process to get my daughter home from Ethiopia. Please remember: At the end of your process, there WILL BE A BABY :)

Time will fly when your child comes home and your dream will be a promise fulfilled

los cazadores said...

Oh Tami, I'm so sorry. I wish we could all sign a petition for you. Argh. Frustrated for you.


Poppy and Peony said...

So sorry you are going through this. Sadly it looks like Ethiopia won't even be an option for me now. I'll pray it all happens in good timing for you. So sorry again.

Anonymous said...

Tami - I am glad you are still checking in over here every once in a while. I do check. I know this seems unreal. What I just dont get is how some agencies are limited or closed and others aren't. I find it very hard to trust in this situation. I am supposed to be very close to getting a referral, but as a single I am on pins and needles. I wish you the best - you will be a mommy - God opens all kinds of doors. - Ali

Tami said...

Thanks Ali. I know, I don't understand how some agencies have those restrictions while others do not. It just makes me frustrated. I used to say angry but it is all in God's hands. Something good will come out of this. Please let me know when you get your referral!