Friday, December 19, 2008

My Dream

Now, I'm starting to have crazy dreams...thanks Robbin.  

I was at a vintage store and this woman, who I have never seen before, walked up to me and said "I heard for sure that we won't have to wait as long as they say for our children to come home."  I said "really, how do you know?"  She said "she spoke with someone from another agency who has a contact at MOWA."  She was writing the name down for me, but she didn't have a piece of paper, so she started writing, with a marker, on an antique tortoise shell plate.  I was looking at her like are you serious but of course I just wanted the information so I didn't stop her.  In the meantime, the owner came over and was very calm about it.  She just sprayed a solution that took the name away...the name was Amy Enfarri or something like that.  She then brought back a nasty mop for us to use to clean up the mess on the plate.  I asked if she had paper towels.  She said "no paper towels were available for vandals, we could use the mop then leave."  Of course we would be banned for life from the store.  I wanted so badly to say BANNED I didn't do the writing, I didn't have the pen in my hand, I don't even know this chick, but I just wanted that number of Amy Enfarri so I didn't say a word...I just waited for the unnamed vandal to finish writing the name on a piece of paper to hand to me.  Then the TV minister woke me up.  

One side of me wants to say this dream is a good sign.  The other side says this dream happened because we have been obsessing about finding every little detail about what is going on and trying to predict how long the wait will really be.  What to do?  What to do?  But, I don't really remember my dreams.  So, I'm going to go with this was a sign and that we will all be grandfathered in and Baby I will be home soon.  

BTW...if you haven't figured it out, I'm checking in from time to time.  I can't leave you now I have 2 blogs!  

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Miss This Blog!

I miss my blog!!!!  BUT...nothing is going on and (they say) will happen in my adoption until the 2010-2011 court year.  I have nothing to write about!  Whaw whaw.  

Just a little venting!  

Sunday, December 7, 2008

New Blog

I finally did it!  

I have a new blog, Middle Rageously.

Come on over and visit and maybe you will come visit more often.  

I plan on shutting this site down at the beginning of the year so please come visit before then.  

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

No More Tears

It's always better in the morning.  These past few years have not been easy for me and yesterday was like the sour icing on my dropped cake.  I felt like my world had come to a complete halt.  

Early this morning I prayed and decided to give it up to God.  So much has happened and it has all happened for a reason.  I know that and have always believed so why stop now just because things aren't going my way?  He has never forsaken me before and will not now.  His Grace and Mercy are so apparent in my life how can I be anything but humbled and grateful. 

I've been on this path for over a year now; I was planning on submitting my dossier in the next few weeks so it would have been two years when Baby I came home anyway.  Two years will move fast.  Who knows what other blessings he will have in store for me during that time.  I have a lot of things I need to do so I'll just get to doing them.  I'm sure I'll still have pangs of sadness and want to rush the process but I'm good...God is working my life out.  

All of the things I can look forward to doing for two more years:
  • sleeping
  • traveling
  • shopping
  • spending money on me
  • fixing up my house
  • working late
  • dating (maybe finding a
  • sleeping more
  • not cooking for two
  • working on my new blog (I'll post the link soon)
  • starting to work towards my black belt
  • living fabulously
Hey, the more I read this list I'm thinking I'm going to like this (smile).   Maybe I'll get a dog.  

Be Blessed,


Monday, November 17, 2008

Heartbroken and Shutting Down

I just learned today that because of the new ruling for single women by MOWA and where I fall on my agency's approval list, my daughter won't be home until sometime in 2011.  I am heartbroken.  I've been crying in my mother's arms like a baby.  It's a good thing I am in South Carolina dealing with a family illness (I guess). 

I wanted you all to know, I am shutting my blog down.  I can't continue this for the next two years.  I know everything happens for a reason although I don't know what the reason for this is yet.  I'll miss you all!  

See you in two years!  



Day Late Dollar Short

I hate to loose out on a bargain!  Man, oh man.  Yesterday, all of you lucky ducks who won the Britax carseat I'm a little salty over here!  I wanted one.  When I found out about it last night around 10pm Target caught on and it was G-O-N-E!  So, so, sad!  If anyone bought an extra one let me know.  If you didn't buy an extra one boo on you!  LOL  I'm glad you got a bargain though.  I still have plenty of time to hopefully find another great bargain.  Lip stuck out and pouty face I have!

Friday, November 14, 2008

A Quickie

I've been so out of it lately dealing with family issues that I haven't posted until Elsa's Mom posted this meme.  I decided to play since it would take my mind off of my dramas, for at least five minutes, to post this.   You gotta love one word answers.  Quick, short and to the point. Nothing like a quickie...heehee.  Get your mind out of the gutter!

· Where is your mobile phone? Here

· Where is your significant other? Dreams

· Your hair color? Red

· Your mother? Awesome

· Your father? Dead

· Your favorite thing? Travel

· Your dream last night? Unknown

· Your dream goal? Peace

· The room you’re in? Hotel

· Your hobby? Design

· Your fear? Alone

· Where do you want to be in 6 years? Family

· Where were you last night? Mother

· What you’re not? Rich

· One of your wish-list items? Villa

· Where you grew up? Cleveland

· The last thing you did? Eat

· What are you wearing? PJs

· Your TV? Watched

· Your pets? None

· Your computer? Appendage

· Your mood? Reflective

· Missing someone? Me

· Your car? Tickets

· Something you’re not wearing? Thongs

· Favorite shop? Target

· Your summer? Over

· Love someone? Unconditionally

· Your favorite color? Orange

· When is the last time you laughed? Today

· When is the last time you cried? Yesterday

Okay, your turn...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yes, We Did!

As I sit in front of my TV with tears streaming down my face the only thing I can say is WE DID IT!  God IS SO GOOD!  I have so many feelings right now, I just can't seem to put them into words, but one thing I do know is...tomorrow IS a new day.  Change is coming.  Wow! 

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Today's the Day

I know we will all be on pins and needles today.  
Enjoy your day.  
Talk to you tomorrow!  

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Square Biz - Little Bo Beeps Wedding Dress?

About 20 years ago, my grandmother gave me the wedding dress she wore when she married my grandfather (very handsome couple don't you think?).  She made me promise to use it (notice I didn't say wear it) while saying neither of her daughters would ever wear it, so I was her best chance.  I promised I would, but she may have had a better shot leaving it to one of my infant cousins.  Here I am almost 40, never married, and no prospect of a husband.  Making lemons out of lemonade...I do have a wonderful baby girl coming home soon.  What better way to use a part of my grandmother's dress than by capturing her love with a little square for Baby I's quilt?  But I wondered is this the right thing to do, to cut up her dress? My prom dress is one thing but the wedding dress?  Hmmm, not so sure.  I decided to try the dress on to make sure I was doing the right thing.  

First, let me set the picture for you.  My house is just cold.  I refuse to cut the heat on before Nov.  and the thermostat reads 57.  So, I'm living in my basement family room and bedroom with a space heater, but I don't have a long mirror downstairs so I'm upstairs in my bedroom room shivering.  I step into the dress and hear rips in the back and start to laugh.  I keep going.  I put my arms in the sleeves and wonder "hmm, don't they go any further than this"?  Ok, now I go to the mirror and look a little puzzled.  I look at my grandmother's picture to see how the dress is supposed to look.  I look in the mirror.  Picture.  Mirror.  Picture.  Mirror.  This goes on for a few more times then I bust out laughing.  The only thing I say out loud is "An Overgrown Little Bo Peep on Crack".  Oh, I forgot to say I was conditioning my hair so I had a scarf on my head.  Okay, I think it will be better if I take the scarf off.  I do.  Like that is any better.  Not.  I laugh even harder.  Then I think.  Little Bo Peep as a Line Backer?  I say out loud again (it's a good thing I live by myself), "How did my Grandmother fit into this"?  I should have known better.  When she gave me the dress, 20 years and 20 pounds ago, I couldn't fit into it, but I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment.  If I didn't live by myself I would have taken the Little Bo Beep pictures for you, minus the sheep of course.

I decided that my grandmother, at this point, was sitting with the rest of my elders in heaven, laughing hysterically and saying please do something else with that dress.  We forbade you to wear it like that.  I'm a little (okay, a lot) too old for the Little Bo Peep look so I held my breath and cut part of the train for Baby I's quilt.  It seemed like the thing went on forever.  I'm sure she won't be turning over in her grave about the dress, this is the most play this dress has seen in over 60 years!  She will forgive me for cutting a foot or so of it.  

 The remainder of the dress I will save for the day I get married and use to get a dress made.  Something more Sex in the City less Nursery Rhyme.  And if I never get married I'll save it for Baby I and use it to get something fabulous made for her wedding.  I promise G'Ma the dress will get used again for more than Baby I's quilt, but it's all for love and at least a quilt will get used (okay, maybe not if I only hang it on the wall.  Please tell me not to do this) more than once.  

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Square Biz- School Daze

I have my first squares for Baby I's quilt and they came from no one other than her Mommy!  Yes, that would be me.  The oldest and most meaningful fabric item that I had to contribute (and was saving anyway for my daughter) was my prom dress.  Let's face it, Baby I will probably never wear it even if she is into vintage clothing.  It was a tad bit mermaidish, but in 1987 I was the shiznit! 

I have you to know (while you are laughing) I was the ONLY one in Las Vegas with that dress.  I know this to be true because I made my mother go to every formal dress store, in the area, with me to make sure!  Good times.  We paid a cool $275 for that dress back in the day, so I was stylin' (I still have the tags also).  I know you appreciate the blue eye shadow.  Don't laugh or talk about me.  I've seen a few of your photos rockin' that same blue eye shadow.  The guy in the picture was my boyfriend Javier...ahhh, young love.  Oh, I digress...back to my dress in preparation for my pumpkin's quilt.  So, the dress before I cut it up for a square (I burned the dress tonight while ironing, but I just cut around that) this evening:

The dress after:
And Baby I's first square:

Can you tell, I'm so excited about her quilt?  I also found a couple of people in my neighborhood this weekend who can assemble the quilt.  I am supposed to meet with them (one day) to discuss commissioning one of them for this project.  That sounds expensive doesn't it?  I had to remind them I am going to be a single mom and they said "oh, don't worry we will work it out".  Oh, yea...uh, hu...okay.  

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Calling All Squares

Per my post last week, I am getting a quilt made for Baby I.  To make my baby girl's quilt (and to make it extra special) I need the assistance from my friends in the blogosphere.  If you would like to be a part of Baby I's quilt this is what I need from you:

1. Choose ANY 100% cotton fabric that you like of African origin.

2. Pre-wash and press the fabric. Then cut two (2) 8" squares from the fabric.

3. Include your "good wish note" on a 3 x 5 card, being sure to sign and date it.  I will place all your wishes in a scrapbook that will be given to Baby I one day.  If you decide to participate THANKS and I can't wait to see the squares you send!  If you don't participate...I'll still like you anyway, read your blog and let you read mine.  :-)  

Please leave me a message (with your email address if I don't have it) if you would like to participate and I will send you my mailing address.  I only ask that you send the squares by January 1, 2009.  This way it gives me time to gather all squares, send to whoever will make, sit and wait patiently.  Notice I didn't say quietly.  :-) 

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

All "Dressered" Up

Remember months back when I said I was purging my home and moving things around?  Well, I got a new office unit and took what I was using for storage out and put it in Baby I's room for her dresser (it is a dresser by the way).  I don't know anything else about what her room will look like but it will be based around the dresser (which I love).  Stay tuned for more nursery updates!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tag You're It!

Better late than never!  Blame it on Robbin she made me get a baby picture.  Since I had to pull them out I thought I would post a few.  I wanted to see how this would feel since I need to get ready to post those pictures for my waiting weeks...  And Kristine also tagged me so this is for both of them.  I'm not sure it's because I'm interesting like my friend Laura, or because I'm funny...ha ha.  Well, let's see if I can come up with any semi-interesting and hilarious things about me that I haven't said before.
  1. When I moved into my house the basement was not finished, it was dark, dank and I was afraid to go down there...well not until I had an I-chingist come do some mojo on it and get rid of the dead energy!  Yup, I did that!
  2. When I traveled to Morocco I was being misdirected by a "guide" so I got to the center of a square and started crying like a baby until someone who spoke English came to help me out of that mess.  I knew I was going to be a slave somewhere and they would have been very unhappy because I don't follow directions too good so I figured I should cry.
  3. I don't know how to do a cart wheel.  I was always afraid of flipping over so I just sat on the sidelines and watched.  Pretty exciting I know.  
  4. When I moved into my house I had perfectly beautiful green grass.  I am so against mowing...translated: lazy...that I killed it and planted flowers.  Then Cicadas came and the weeds came after that, it has been a loosing battle ever since.  My neighbor and I have a shame on you pulling weeds event periodically...I'm one up.  Oh, how I long for the days of that beautiful green grass!  I really would love to have that HGTV show Curb Appeal come to my home and hook the outside up!  Does anyone out there have any connections?
  5. I love Twizzlers and normally eat them until I am sick.  I just don't feel satisfied until then.  
  6. I can't drink milk by itself (I think it is gross) or without flavoring and neither can my mother.  I'm also lactose intolerant (TMI I know).  When I was a kid in camp I tried to tell the counselors that, they didn't believe me, so they made me drink it before my juice...needless to say it was not a pretty sight at the dinner table.  They never made me do that again and it was chocolate milk for dinner.  
  7. I love, love, love Christmas movies!  I can't wait until Thanksgiving because my Tivo is set and ready to go!  I will tape almost everyone of them and watch them all!  They do my heart good and often times make me laugh.  
Since I'm so late, I won't tag anyone but if you want to play along just join in.   Hey Char have you been tagged yet?  

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Is 7 Enough?

Is seven enough?  Doubt It!  But you gotta luv Brangelina.  They have the money and the heart...or is that the nannies to take care of all those kids (yeah, yeah...they do it themselves...whatever, man!).  It's official, per, they are on their way to adopting again, after they wait the obligatory six months to make sure their bunch is adjusting to the other kids.  Angelina said the children aren't even phased anymore when new kids come home.  I guess it's like..."Hey kids, you have a new brother/sister, come make them feel welcomed, go show them their room, share your toys, educate them on the media and teach them how to smile and make nasty faces".  

Anyone want to take some bets on the country/sex/age of their new child.  I remember hearing once, they want each of their children to see another that looks like them.  I'm going to say it will be another child from Africa.  Maybe Liberia.  I think there are enough boys (too much testosterone in the household) so girl, age 2-3, Zahara will stay the oldest.  

Anyone Want to Quilt Memories With Me?

I'm going to make (okay have made...dang, how do you do strikethrough on blogger again?) an African 100 Good Wishes Quilt for Baby I.  Come on!  Join me!  This will give you something to do during your wait!  And if your baby is home, what a great gift to pass down generations.  Just do it!  So, even if you stink at being a mother everyone will have forgotten and think you were great simply because you were so thoughtful and got a quilt made! Hey, maybe I should sign up for two then!  ;-) 

We currently have 9-12 participants and would love to have more. Here is how it works:

In China, where this tradition began (but I promise you will want one for each one of your kids, regardless of origin, once you get started), it is a custom to invite 100 people to contribute a single square patch of cloth. The 100 patches are sewn together into a quilt that contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.  

Here is what participants would need to do:

1. Choose ANY 100% cotton fabric that you like of African origin. There are lots of rich, gorgeous African fabrics in fabric stores and on the Internet. It just needs to be a design and color that you like.

2. Pre-wash and press the fabric. Then cut one (1) 7" squares from the fabric.

3. Include your "good wish note" on a 3 x 5 card, being sure to sign it.  We will place all your wishes in a scrapbook that we will give to the baby someday.

4. Send a square to each participant. They will each send you a square. Everyone ends up with a beautiful assortment.  Then you can assemble or have some one else do it...I'm all for the later.

Ideas for good wishes note: Well... what would you wish for a child to have in his/her life? Some ideas that come to mind are good health, perseverance, compassion, and sense of know stuff like that.

If you want to see examples of what these quilts can look like, go to

So, if you want to participate in the group, leave me a message ASAP with your email and I will forward to the person in charge of organizing this.  I'm only the messenger.  Happy Quilting!  

Say It Ain't So Lo'

'I'm really happy with Samantha... and I want to adopt a child', says Lindsay Lohan.

I guess now that she's finished with rehab and in a good relationship (don't kill the messenger...i.e. me) she's ready for a family? Oh..boy!  Do you think her dad will be visiting and/or babysitting much?  

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

This week on EthioAdopt

This week on EthioAdopt:

Sally told Margie (names changed to protect the innocent) I don't know what I should do about educating my Ethiopian child.  We enjoy living in our homogeneous neighborhood and feel it is much safer than moving to a more diverse area.  We don't think our child will be adversely affected.  Will he Margie?  I mean it just seems to me that some people think white people shouldn't (a) adopt black kids or (b) should live in black neighborhoods regardless of the cost of safety, schools, etc.  so the children can see more black faces.  This baffles me.  I mean I've never heard of diverse neighborhoods or any neighborhoods with majority black people that are safe.  And heavens to betsy, there can't possibly be any schools that have a lot of black faces with smart black kids, that just can't be so.  Sally do you really think that is true?  That's what they say in the paper Margie.  

On the other side of town, a group of mothers were having a race discussion at a park, while watching their little ones play nicely...too bad everyone can't get along like that.  "The parents who are alive and giving up their children don't give a rats A$S  about whether they are being raised by white people or will go to a more than white school...they are sacrificing for their children so that their children can have a life.  My boy's mom never said to me, 'will they go to a school where more people look like them? I'm seriously concerned about their self esteem as they grow up.' "   So,  Marilyn because the mother never said those words to you what?  Discount the fact that they are black?  Don't acknowledge it?  Don't believe it has anything to do with building positive self-esteem?  Oh, I know...they are different than the other little black kids?  That will be a great self-esteem builder and help them to make lots of friends in high places.  They should do well with other people that look like them and don't look like them.  Oy, vey!  

"Joshua!  Stop pulling Kaylie's hair!"  

Friday, October 3, 2008

Shana Tova!

There is a thin line between love and hate.  There is also a thin line between reasonable and ridiculous.  You have heard me talk about the Ethiopian adoption boards before, so here I go again.  Maybe this should be a weekly update, board craziness.  

Sundown on September 29th began the Jewish New Year and since there are many Jewish families adopting someone had the audacity to say Shana Tova.  Wadaya they do that for?  Boom!  Here we go again.  It had religious content and that should not be posted on the boards because it was not about Ethiopia or adoption.  Huh?

Shana Tova  as far as I can tell means (in Hebrew): A Good Year, A Good and Sweet Year, or May You Be Written and Sealed for a Good Year.  Well, I don't know about you, but with this recession I can use all of the blessings I can get in any language it may come to me.  Please send me some additional blessings in any language you know: Greek, Italian, Geek, Pig Latin...heck, I'll take them all!  

So, people lighten up!  And I know it is a little late, but Shana Tova everyone!  

P.S. Do you think I'll be having this discussion about the boards around Christmas time if someone says Merry Christmas?  Things that make you go hmmm.  

Thursday, October 2, 2008

What's in a Name?

I know you all have heard about the father who abandoned his 9 children under the Safe Haven Act in Omaha, NE, however that is not what I am writing about today.  This morning I was watching the Today Show and as Ann Curry introduced the man's family she said his step-daughter twice.  His daughter corrected him twice saying daughter.  The second time she said she was his daughter she made it clearer, "He is my real Dad, all there is is blood".  Ahhh...from the horse's mouth.  Unfortunately, Ann Curry didn't hear her and I'm pretty certain this won't be the last time she introduces someone as a stepchild OR adopted child.  The only thing we/I  can continue to do is keep telling people about the importance of the words they use AND names/titles do make a difference.  Good for that young lady.  You go girl!  

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Head of Skate! HA HA HA

What would this blog be if I didn't get in on the Presidential Election Humor?  

Friday, September 26, 2008

Picture Perfect

Since I have so many blog buddies getting ready to travel to pick up their babes, I thought I would give you all a way to spend your money.  Oh, I mean provide stimulation for your baby and a way for them to see your lovely face until you have them in your arms.  Check out Manhattan Toy Whoozit Photo AlbumI'll probably get one, but who am I fooling I'm months away from a referral, but NEWSFLASH: Shawn and I have committed to finishing our dossiers by Nov. 7!  Oh, Shawn, I have assigned a date to November...I just thought you should know.  LOL  

Thursday, September 25, 2008

A Big Yawner!!!

Boy:  I just have to ask you one question.

Girl:  Yes.

Boy:  So, why are you adopting from Ethiopia?

Girl:  Why not?

Boy:  Oh, I guess that is a good answer.

Girl:  Thanks.  

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Brangelina Do It Again

Did you hear my favorite couple Brangelina donated $2 million dollars last week to help fight HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis in Ethiopia?  The money will be used to help build a clinic in Addis Ababa to help children fight the diseases.  

Brad and Angelina said "It is our hope when Zahara is older she will take responsibility of the clinic and continue its mission."  

Way to go Brad and Angelina!!!!!!  

Monday, September 22, 2008

The 70 Bus

On Thursday and Friday I had attended a conference at the DC Convention Center.  I decided not to drive since I have been paying a DC Workers salary lately with my parking tickets.  So, my choices were: train or bus.  For the train I had to walk 12 minutes (not far) to the train, take a 20 minute train ride, then walk about 5-10 more minutes to the convention center.  For the bus I had to walk around the corner (3-5 min.) then take a 20-30 minute bus ride.  Seems pretty simple, the bus right?  Buttttttt....taking the bus in DC is an adventure.  There is such a stigma attached to riding the bus in DC and most "professionals" in the city just don't do it unless it is for transfer downtown, most "professionals" prefer the train.  Truth be told, I haven't been on the bus for 10 years at least, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the bus.  BTW, when I told friends I was taking the bus they all said "WHY?" 

Here I was at the bus stop, with a few interesting characters, and I didn't even know how much the bus was.  I had to take out my PDA and look it up.  It was $1.35 each, I got this (so, I thought).  Once I got on the bus I thought I would read my latest book.  Not so much.   I sat in the very front (this seemed to be safest for someone who hasn't taken a bus in a decade) with a few other colorful characters.  Right next to me was a man that had alcohol for breakfast and a few seats down was a woman who forgot to take her medication for breakfast.  She commented about everyone on the bus.  As Latinos got on/off the bus she yelled "Hola" and 'Adios" (not in a friendly way).  She asked a nice young woman who appeared to be from Nigeria if she lived in a shelter (what???).  She asked an Ethiopian woman if she was from Pakistan or Ethiopia?  HUH???  I laughed out loud on this one.  She then asked if they were (Pakistan and Ethiopia) close together, the woman of course said no.  She then had a very loud and disturbing conversation with another man about something, but I can't really remember what.  Whew...that was a long 25 minutes but when it was over I felt like, I have to do this again, this was fun.  I caught the bus home and the next day, more of the same.  Although on my return trip the next day I had words with a different crazy lady.  

I was on the phone with my mother (again in the front seats) and a pregnant woman, who happened to be Ethiopian, got on the bus.  We said Selam and I proceeded to get out of my seat for her to sit down (she was pregnant for goodness sakes).  Instead of letting her sit down a woman decided she was going to jump in my seat...she knew I wasn't getting up for her.  I turned around and told her I wasn't getting up for her, I was getting up for the other woman to sit down.  She told me SO.  I said okay GET UP!  She said the seat was for elderly and priority, I told her the woman was pregnant (the woman was about 50, not old, just mean), she said SO.  I was heated.  Of course the woman looked like it's okay, it's okay.  Meanwhile my mother is on the phone saying Tami be nice, she knows I am on an "interesting" bus.  I told the woman she was just rude and inconsiderate.  She proceeded to tell me she didn't care and then started calling me fancy pants (I had on my suit and did look very nice! LOL...hater!)  Finally, a nice young lady next to the crazy lady got up for the woman to sit down.  My job was done and I moved to the back.  

I can see why people don't take the bus but it is less expensive and less walking for me depending on where I have to go.  I'm a big gurlcan handle myself and the haters but whew...that was an experience.  I hope I don't have to do that too often!  Maybe I'll walk the extra 17 minutes next time.  :-)  

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Life. It Happens.

When I was a kid my mother used to tell me: "Tami, you talk to much".  Then as I got older she said: "Tami, you talk too much and trust too easily.  You think everyone is your friend, they are not."  So, for thirty something years (don't ask) I pretty much heard those words repeated from my mother, in different ways of course.  For thirtysomething years she continued to see my heartbroken which broke her heart as well.  It was not until this past summer, when life happened (SHTF) that I finally understood what all of those things my mother said to me meant.  

A few weeks ago another AP asked me if she should tell everyone she is adopting and I told her if I had to do it over again I would wait until I had my referral to share.  When I started this process 15 months ago I thought it would move so smoothly for me...then life happened.   Life.  It happens.  Seems pretty simple to me, I thought it would be simple to everyone else.  I thought everyone would rejoice at my choices and provide support.  Maybe even if they weren't rejoicing I thought they would care about what was going on in my life.  So, I did as I often had, spilled all the beans about my feelings, the adoption process, plans I had for my baby girl, my career, about EVERYTHING!  Then guess what I found out?  Either many of those people could have cared less, they turned my joy into something they tried to use against me or they drive me completely insane asking me: "when is the baby coming, what is they problem, why is it taking so long, what are you doing wrong".  After each time someone asks me a question or it is very apparent they don't care about what is going on in my world a little is taken away from me and I think...what did I do to deserve that.   I want nothing more than to have my daughter home, but there are things that cannot be explained because life simply happens.  And after thirtysomething years I've finally realized that I don't owe people explanations for why my life happens the way it's life, it just does.  

So, finally, what life has taught me is to keep some things just for me and to share when and if I feel it is the right time to. Fifteen months into the process I now understand why people wait until the first trimester to tell people they are pregnant.  My mother used to say, not everything is for everybody.  I finally get it.  I just hope that I am able to convey what it took my mother thirtysomething years for me to get to Baby I at a much younger age.  I certainly don't ever want to steal her joy and I know my mother never wanted to steal mine, but what she wanted me to do was keep some of that joy reserved for me because she knew that others could crush my spirit (I'm sensitive you know...LOL).  Ok Mom, I finally get it...I love you.  

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I Have A Secret

If I didn't tell you this, I AM the queen of bargain shopping.  I can make it look like you have a lot of money when, don't.  I have tons of secrets that I usually don't share, but this one is just too good to pass up, so I'm going to hook you all up!  Oh, for this secret, Baby I wants very good baby shower gifts!  :-)  

Check out  A mompreneur started the site and new bargains are posted almost daily, if it's a good day the manna comes twice.  Discounts are up to 70-80% on some items.   The Mama bargain of the day is a cute diaper bag by Timi & Leslie.  Suggested retail price is $150, price $19.  I found the same bag for $139 at FYI, last month had a $500 stroller for $199!  

I know, I love me and I'm the greatest!  



Tuesday, September 16, 2008

That's Noble of You

Girl meets boy.  

They have decent conversations.

Girl tells boy she is adopting a daughter who will be home in the spring.  

Boy says: "My that is noble of you."

Girl is dumbfounded.  

What should girl do?  She really hates stupid responses, but it probably wasn't as bad as it seemed to her. 

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Puppy Lub

This video has absolutely nothing to do with Baby I but it is the cutest thing I've seen in a minute (that doesn't have to do with children...let's be clear about that!).  It made me smile so I thought it might make you smile too.  Enjoy.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

BET Still Stinks!

On Tuesday night BET premiered its first scripted TV series, "Somebodies".  It was supposed to be the first intelligent and realistic show about Black life based off of a critically acclaimed film that was shown at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival.  The film was about a group of twenty-somethings in Athens, Georgia as they come of age, focusing on the often ignored world of young Black life. The series picks up where the film left off as they enter the real world after college.  I figured maybe BET was finally getting it's act together, so let me take a look.  The series was well...IT SUCKED!  I think BET got lost in the translation.  My advice: don't waste your time.  Now, when Lincoln Heights comes back on (Sept. 16) that's quality TV, I love that show!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

First Come, First Served?

It has come to my attention that people are having major meltdowns because someone got a referral before they did.  People are throwing temper tantrums because couple D got their baby boy or woman F got a little girl and couple C is still waiting for a referral of either a boy or girl.  So, people have started complaining (I'm sure this is no shocker) on the boards, to their agency or to anyone that will listen...this isn’t fair!   I was first!  Boo-hoo…why haven’t I gotten my referral yet.  This isn't fair.  

First, people think about how all of this sounds...I mean really.  We are adults here.  This isn't place an order, stand in line, and a baby pops out!  I want to believe that even though agencies advise us that there is no specific matching, it really is not as simple as that, it can’t be.   Think about it. Families are different.  Some families have the capacity to handle physical and emotional challenges children may have while others do not.  Some request a boy or girl to complete their family while others say just bring it on…what God has for me is for me (although I still believe that regardless what child comes to your family is the child that God meant for you).  Either way adoption is never First Come, First Served!  This is not your local swap meet or Mickey D’s so people, get a grip!  Get a hobby!   Stop stressing!  Trust the process, when the child that is perfect for your family comes along it will all be worth the wait. Until then, just be happy if another family is blessed with the child that is perfect for them and know that your child is very near.


P.S.  I'm sure people are remembering why they didn't like me now.  LOL    

Monday, September 8, 2008

Is She Adopting for the Wrong Reasons?

Now, correct me if I'm wrong (I know that I'm not in this instance) if you don't really care for a persons culture you shouldn't adopt them just because you can get a baby faster and under twelve months of age.  WHAT?  See...this is why I stay on the boards!  Apparently there is one very confused woman lurking:

I'm torn between three countries: Russia, Kazakhstan and Ethiopia. I'm in love with the Russian and Kazakh culture and the people but I don't feel the same way with Ethiopia. To be honest, the only reason why I want to adopt from Ethiopia is because I can get a baby in under 12 months, I won't have to deal with rude comments and stares from strangers that other transracial families have to deal with and because its way cheaper. Is this truly the wrong reason to even consider Ethiopia as a country choice?
Signed-Her Imperial Majesty (or something like that)

Dear Her Majesty:

This may sound harsh but NO ADOPTION FROM ETHIOPIA FOR YOU!  The way you are positioning your email makes me question your entire parenting M.O., but that is a different subject...stay focused Tami.  Just because you are black does not make a black child a good fit for you, as is shown in your email.  I believe you would do more harm to your child than good because you would always think of that little Russian or Katz baby you could have had...even if you (in your words) saved a couple of dollars.  My advice to you before you start down the path to motherhood is spend a few more dollars and get some counseling...I think there is something going on in there...just my opinion.  Then move forward with your adoption...but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE leave Ethiopian children for people who truly have an interest in the culture and who want to love them for them not simply because they would be an easier fit on their arm or heaven forbid because it is cheaper!  

Friday, September 5, 2008

Kumbaya Yall

When I finally (the operative word) decide to do something I like to believe I do as most of you and try to prepare myself as best I can. It first starts with the bestfriend conversation: "so, I was thinking...or what do you think about..." Then it moves on to my mother: "Mommy, do you think this is the right thing to do...or do you think I'm crazy..." Then I move on to the real due diligence. I start researching and looking for information any place I can get it. I admit, I become (for a little while) slightly obsessed. Sometimes it works out for good then other times...I'm still trying to get over the other times.  Let's just say, it can be better to go with your gut and heart than with a lot of data.

When I decided I was going to adopt I followed my normal due diligence routine however it was a little different because I had already done a lot of the research. Since I had tried to have a baby one year before I already had a lot of information on what it would take for me to be a parent. I had already made changes to insurance policies, did estate planning and all of that good stuff, but I was still unclear about what adoption REALLY meant for me. However, I knew I was over not being able to have a baby and so thankful that I was alive and able to adopt.   So, I needed to find out everything about adoption. In the course of a few weeks I probably bought so many adoption books, magazines, went to seminars, talked to people who were/have adopted and joined adoption boards.  

Now, every now and then since I am on this sloooooow road I still look for new adoption groups or other information.  A little while ago I joined a pretty strange board that I thought applied to single women adopting, but tell me why have I never seen any information except how to get a man? I mean what is that all about? Sidebar: not that I wouldn't like a nice, tall, handsome and wealthy man, but something tells me that group isn't the place to find it!  And speaking of boards, I find that the other adoption boards are all great as long as everyone is singing Kumbaya (ok, probably not Kumbaya because it has some religous undertones and you know that doesn't go over well on the boards, but you get the point...and if you aren't on the boards...well, this is over your head).   :-)  

Don't get me wrong, some of the adoption boards are working and serving their purpose and yes, I can unsubscribe from the ones that I don't like, but I stay because I, like to (as Jesse Jackson says), Keep Hope Alive. I don't know, I was always the kid in the room that thought if I went to sleep I would miss something. Maybe if I leave, I'll miss the brilliance of another AP (I did leave the "single adoption" group).  Maybe I should leave and stop wasting my time because the brilliance is never coming. I don't know. Maybe I just have too much time to kill until Baby I gets here...yea, that's probably the real answer! Maybe, I just feel like I have something to offer and I'm trying to figure out what it is...until then...Kumbaya Yall!  

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Vogue India WTH????

For a minute the folks at Vogue had me fooled.  With the publication of the July, Vogue Italy issue (the issue with all Black models) I thought, just maybe, they were trying to do some good in the fashion industry.  Make a change.  Ruffle some racist feathers.  Give some beautiful sisters jobs so others would do the same.  

Well, Vogue was trying to pull a Jedhi mind trick on us.  Have you seen or heard about the Vogue India August issue?  They didn't highlight beautiful Indian models or any other ethnicity, but they did highlight another underserved population in their layouts.  Are you sitting down?  The issue highlights the IMPOVERISHED in a 16 page layout wearing Fendi, Hermes, Birkin and other designers (excuse me while I go throw up now!)!  See the NY Times article that talks more about it.   
A baby who may not get any food tomorrow is wearing a $100 Fendi bib!  The young girl behind them looks quite disturbed, I would be also.  No, I would be pissed!  

The man, who has probably in all likelihood made less than $500 a year (456 million Indians make less than $1.25 daily), is carrying a $200 Burberry umbrella.  

WTH was Vogue India thinking you might ask?  Their response:

Vogue India editor Priya Tanna’s message to critics of the August shoot: “Lighten up,” she said in a telephone interview. Vogue is about realizing the “power of fashion” she said, and the shoot was saying that “fashion is no longer a rich man’s privilege. Anyone can carry it off and make it look beautiful,” she said.

Baby I may be reading a lot of magazines (well, her Mom does...we have books too!), but Vogue won't be one of them.  What a bunch of idiots!   

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Thanks Blogdom!

After 6 days and all of the kind words of support, I have decided to continue blogging!  It's great therapy after all and if I have people silly enough to consistently read my musings, who am I to deny them.  :-)  So, I'm officially back to blogging...okay, at least for now.  LOL  

Thanks for the support, you all are the BESTEST (yup...bestest).    See you tomorrow!  

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Nie Nie Day

One of the women (and her husband) from the many blogs that I read was in a plane crash last week. She and her husband (Christian and Stephanie Nielson) are a young couple with four children under the age of six. They are in critical condition. Stephanie has third degree burns covering 80% of her body and Christian has third degree burns over 30% of his body. The recovery will be very long and very expensive.

Today, several websites right now 165 are auctioning off items for their benefit. Go here to see the comprehensive list  I saw lots of very cool items and many baby things.  

Updates about Stephanie and Christian here:   Shop on bloggers and if you win anything let me know. Baby I says I can't shop (boo hoo), but I can live vicariously through you (or is that shop vicariously through you)?!

Blog Conundrum

I've been blogging now for over a year (where does the time go?).  I've had my ups and downs during the process, but I honestly did not think I would not have Baby I home by this summer or at least not be on the waitlist...neither has happened as you know.  Not because in my heart I don't want to be, but because personal reasons have made my process move so slow.  I have seen many of my blog buddies become parents, I am so happy for them and love reading the blogs, but as for my blog...I don't have much inspiration anymore.  I don't know what to write about.  We all know people really want to hear about life with the little ones and I don't anticipate Baby I coming home until after March 09 at the earliest.  

So, my dilemma is... I don't know what I am going to say for the next however many months.  Heck, I don't even know if anyone is reading this anymore.  I'm thinking about just making the blog private and then creating a new blog at referral.  What do you think?  I'm at a loss.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Zahara is Adopted

I bet you didn't know Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt adopted a daughter named Zahara.  Apparently, the media seems to think no one knows and before they publish or even say Zahara's name (or any of their other kids names that are not the twins or Shiloh) they always preface it with ADOPTED.  How that annoys me big time!  Yesterday, Black Celebrity Kids showed Brad with Zahara and wrote his adopted daughter, I lost it (nicely of course):

Why do you find it necessary to state adopted daughter? Do you feel they love Zahara any less or treat her any differently? Do you think they introduce her as their adopted daughter? Absolutely not! Stop prefacing their children as “adopted.” It is insulting to the parents and especially to the children!

The response I got back from the site was:

Tami:  This is just one of the many posts which doesn’t use the term “adopted”…Do not be so offended Thanks for the comment all the same.

I'm going to monitor this particular site for their adoption "etiquette."  Of course someone who has not walked the many miles in our shoes can say do not be offended, but it is offensive.  This is only one site, but I really hope they do correct the language they use from now on.  

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Renovating Updates

Do you remember the sunroom and hot tub I got rid of?  Well, I'm still not finished decorating the room, but I've been working on it a little thanks to freecycle!  Man, I love freecycle.  So far, I've gotten lots of baby stuff (toys, 2 pack and plays, a changing table, diaper genie, portable high chair, baby food maker and some other baby items).  As for my room renovations I received the 4 chairs around my table, a wall to wall jute carpet (I'm using half as an area rug and the other half will go wall to wall in my library) and the table lamp in the picture.  I've also gotten other stuff, but no need to brag anymore.  hehee... I've met really cool people and I've gotten rid of so much stuff on freecycle myself.  I'm cleaning house!!!!!  It is the best!  If you haven't tried freecycle in your neighborhood I would say get to it!  It is better than vintage stores because this is FREE!  

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

CNN and the Anti Climax

So, I’ve finally managed to get out of my world and put together my thoughts on the CNN I Am: Black in America feature. Kudos to CNN for putting together and airing the special however, I was disappointed. After the big build up it was very anticlimactic. I was not the only one who felt this way, this was the sentiment I heard from about 90% of the Black people I came in contact with. I have also waited to see if anyone has posted anything on their blogs about it, but not really…most people speak about it in private and have the attitude of “whatever, it was an attempt, it’s over…moving on.” Me, not so much. I would like to discuss the issue a little further so here I go, being as brief as I can and trust me, I am cutting it as much as I can. Why was I so disappointed?

Supposedly, per CNN’s reason for creating I Am: Black in America was to present a collection of people who may surprise you. They wanted to show people who not only defied their labels, but they’ve done it in very public and dramatic ways. From what I saw during the two days it was just more of the same ‘ole same ‘ole…translation: stereotypes and negativity brought forth. One of my friends asked me if I felt this way because I was a little embarrassed and honestly the answer is yes. I was embarrassed that this was all people would see AGAIN and on CNN. More of the Baby Daddy saga, welfare struggles, jail scenarios and black kids not going to school. Yes, they did show family bonding in between but (IMHO) the negative out weighed the positive. I watched the show wondering did they consult with any Blacks in America when they thought this whole thing out, when they produced these segments? I would venture to say probably not. It was simply more a regurgitation of the negative stuff  some Black Americans live daily and it perpetuated many of the stereotypes even when they were trying to be positive.

For instance, it was great that they showed the “professional” family. The father was a superintendent, the mother was a professional and all children were in school, college graduates or planning to attend college. However they showed that even with the good this family had someone go to jail. WHAT? I’m sorry, not that it doesn’t happen on occasion, but like one of my friends (Tracey) said, was this necessary? She also commented my family has never had anyone go to jail.  She was right.  I have never had anyone go to jail either! As a matter of fact my mother was one of the first “minority” police officers Cleveland hired, my stepfather was a Deputy Sheriff and my 29 year old brother is currently on the SWAT division of the corrections department! Now that is a story for you!

I actually fell asleep on the show. It was a lot of stuff on there that we (black people) tend to laugh about (sarcastically speaking) when we hear it repeated in the media. For instance:
o Black men are pulled over more than white men
o Blacks receive inferior healthcare
o Schools in urban areas do not receive the same quality teachers or levels of funding as those in suburban areas
o Black women are marrying at lower rates
o The quality of food in urban stores is lower or healthy options not available
You don’t say? Now there is a shocker to us all! We tend to get a big kick out of it when it is FINALLY in the media because we know it and say it all the time, but no one hears us until someone like CNN or a Soledad reports it. Until that happens, like someone from the big Ethiopian board said, “It is just anecdotal.” Apparently, we have been living a life of anecdotes this woman thought. Now, there were a few good things about the show, I did appreciate some of the more specific statistics that go with those “anecdotes” I didn’t know such as:
o 45% of black women are not married, twice the number of white women, that number increases to 75% for professional black women
o 70% black women raising children on their own
o 50% of black children vs. 38% of white are raised in poverty
o 1 million more black women are working than men
o Twice as many black women are in college than men

Then there is Soledad...I like her. I think she is finding her voice and place in media and with the Black community, but for many in the black community…not so much. There has been some question as to why she was chosen to lead this series and this is the answer to why it turned out the way it did. I mean, what does she know about being BLACK? Soledad is multi-racial and that includes Black. She does not deny Black is a part of her heritage and her mother (from what I hear) is a very dark Afro Cuban. I think people are questioning because she was not so vocal and because she is married to a white man, but she is trying to bring the issues to the forefront. No, maybe she doesn’t get stopped for driving while black or followed for thinking she was shoplifting or called the “n” word but black is a part of who she is. If she weren’t doing anything and people who didn’t know she was black found out then she would be talked about for not acknowledging she was black (pretty much she is in a catch 22 situation with some people). Now, I don’t believe this was the best attempt, but it was better than no attempt…leave Soledad alone, give her a chance to find her space and voice.

Out of all of the excellent education programs that I believe actually have a chance to work for our young people WHY in the world would CNN only highlight one option (that I believe is just ridiculous). Pay kids to go to school? Give me a break! What are we teaching kids about education, and at such a young age? Now, did CNN and Soledad really think this was a viable option? If they were simply providing options why didn’t they show another program that is not just a pilot so the public can see what is working now. There ARE models that work that don’t require payment.

Sure, the Black community has its challenges BUT there is more good in the community than bad, but I finished the show only remembering the negatives. If I recall the objective was to show Black America and to defy the labels, but I finished with nothing but labels. Where was the substance? I did not see enough of it. It was too surface level and each time they approached an interesting point that could have made for a good storyline, it was cut abruptly…what a lost opportunity. 

What bothers me now is that I am reading on blogs and the Big Ethiopia Board that people think they understand Black America. YIKES!  How Horrible!  I am glad that anyone who was not Black watched in hopes of learning more about being Black In America, but I am saddened that this is the memory he or she was left with.

Girlfriend Chatter

Before I FINALLY comment on the CNN special let me catch you up a little.  I probably don’t have anymore blog readers, but what the hey.  I’ve been pretty inconsistent this summer, but one of my summer resolutions is to do me and that is what I am trying to do.  Unfortunately, my blog has been suffering, but I know all of the others have been holding it down!  

I’ve found trying to do me, takes more energy and time than I thought (who knew?).  I have FINALLY admitted that I cannot do it ALL! This is a major resolution for me so I deserve some kudos for this people! But guess what? I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be superwoman anymore, just the best woman I can be. Hell, superwoman isn’t real anyway and all of those women who say they can do it all (I think) are on Prozac, Xanex or some other drug running around trying to do it all! Not me. I’m going to take my little piece of the pie and move on. Now, I just need to figure out what kind of pie I want! ☺  Too many choices!!!!! 

I’ve let go of several “friendships” this summer that meant no good for Baby I or me. I’ve stopped discussing my plans with everyone because I finally get that not everyone cares about them. If I were pregnant, they would be totally happy with hearing all of my plans and so supportive, but since I’m not they are not interested…too bad for them. I’ve learned to stop justifying who I am and my choices for my life and for Baby I. I mean come on people…I’m almost 40 years old; don’t you think I’ve thought this through?  

On the adoption front…because I was on the slow road I was just told that even though my home study was just approved in March my first home study visit was in October so guess what that means? I have to have my entire home study updated, which essentially means done over!!!!! Can you say MORE $$$$$$ and MORE documentation!!!!!  ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!. One of the new guidelines for Gladney is that we don’t curse on our blogs (and I’m trying to eliminate the use of those words from my vocabulary, but I can’t help but still think them in times of frustration…hey I know them!) so I can’t put any curse words here but please fill in all the ones you know right here $$##@@@@&&&!!!!...this is how I feel. I know it is not Gladney’s fault that I was on the slow road, but what can I do…NADA!  In the end when Baby I is home and in my arms will I really care about the extra everything?  NOPE..OF COURSE NOT, but right now how am I feeling????

Monday, July 28, 2008

CNN POST + other news

OK...I know I said I would post about the CNN Black in America show right after it aired....siggghhh.  I was not impressed with it so I am having a hard time putting together the words for you.  I promise to put something together tonight and we can start this discussion tomorrow.  Forgive me for I am mantra of late.  

Oh, I forgot to say on Friday I was officially approved by my agency to adopt.  Now, I know many of you are scratching your head and saying "WTH?"  You know I do things bass ackwards!  I started everything and didn't realize the approval wasn't in the was way down the line.  Ok, not way down the line, but you know for me and my process it seemed way down the line.  Now, we are moving at warp speed.  I even took out the dossier forms this weekend!  YIPPIE!  

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Daily Dose of Vitamins

Are you getting your recommended daily dose of vitamins?  According to GenSpec most of us are not getting the correct vitamins not simply because we don't take them, but because we don't take the right ones for our ethnic group.  Yup, that's right, for our ethnic group.  Their premise is based around our ethnic groups: African American, Hispanic and Caucasian.  So, they did what any good capitalist would do, they started a company to benefit from this.  Now, I'm not hating on their hustle and it probably is some truth to it.  I for one did and still do buy into the "Eating for your Blood Type" diet (although I'm not disciplined enough to follow it for longer than a day or two).  However, what I don't buy into is (ethnic groups are so diverse and mixed) that these three formulas will provide all of what I need because my skin is dark.  What happens if someone is 50% black and 50% white?  What if that is their mix and their skin is dark should they get African American?  What happens if they look Caucasian (and to those of you that do not know this happens it does)?  What does my family do since we are Black Hispanics?  I guess if you're Asian you shouldn't go to GenSpec because it doesn't seem like they have figured out what to do with you yet.  

Well, I'm just going to stick with my Dr. Shultze's SuperFoods and regular old vitamins the two have not let me down yet.  Well...except last year when I had the flu and the time before that when I had a cold and when I ... oh, bad, I stopped taking my vitamins for a year then. Do you think that had anything to do with me being sick?  (Oh, a shout out to one of my favorite blogs lightskinneded girl for highlighting this company first.  I couldn't pass this one up!)