Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Domestic Foster/Adoption Also?

While I'm waiting for Baby I besides doing the normal things like shopping, working out and de-cluttering I've been watching a lot of TV.  OK so that is normal too, but I've been watching a lot of programs related to adoption, foster care and Ethiopia.  I may as well tug the heart strings for the next year or so.  

If you didn't know, before I made the decision to adopt from Ethiopia I considered adopting domestically but decided to wait until Baby I was home.  I've always wanted at least two children so a second domestic adoption is a real possibility.   I even completed all of my course work through DC Children and Family Services to adopt/foster from the city.  I was never quite sure if this was the right path for me but I've been thinking more and more about it lately.  

Over the Christmas Holidays I watched the TV special with Faith Hill Home for the Holidays where they celebrated adoption and showed a number of adoptive families telling their stories.  I sat in front of the TV for those few hours crying and thinking about older children needing homes just as much as I think about the children in Ethiopia needing homes.  I then knew I also had to foster/adopt a child from the States once Baby I came home.  There are so many children everywhere that need families, I just really want to live in a mansion and love up on them all day long.  

This past weekend I watched a Lifetime movie (TiVo) about a young man (America) in the foster care system.  Rosie O'Donnell is the psychiatrist that helps him come to terms with his roller coaster life.  

In typical Tami fashion, I got emotional.  I got knots in my stomach...the I have to do something else kind.  I just can't take it!  All of these statistics are killing me.

More than half of a million kids in foster care.  Once they age out of the system only 2 out of 10 will make it.  The others will end up homeless, in prison or dead.  I know adopting/fostering older children comes with other issues but someone has to do it.  But of course it is all just talk now, I really have to think all of this through and do a whole lot of planning.  A whole lot!  Maybe winning the lotto would be a plus also!  


Robbin said...

mmmhmmm... I see some foreshadowing!

Angela said...

Hi Tami,

My mom and I talked about this last week. She's considering becoming a foster parent too. There's so much needed in this world, where does one know where to start? A heart of service and prayer for guidiance is always good beginning. I wish you well.

haze said...

Tami, you would bring so much good to the life of a foster child/children. There are so many problems within the fostering system - people in it for the wrong reasons. You wouldn't be one of those people.

I admire your courage to seriously consider this. I think I will have to stay with sponsorship of children.

Kelli said...

Yes, it is hard to see all the problems our children have here in the US. My husband is a product of the foster care system so we are very well aware of the need. But don't let you emotions get the better of you. Take your time making the decision so when you are ready, your committment to the child/ren will be 100%. You will know when it is right for you not because someone has tugged at your heart strings but because God has laid it on your heart and you are prepared for the journey. And as you well know, there are children EVERYWHERE who need a loving and permanent home. Change the world one person at a time. Just think, if everyone who was capable of providing a permenant, loving home did for one child in need, there would be no need anywhere in the world.

kristine said...

I was teaching sunday school (before my new work schedule) and two of the children in my pre-k class were adopted through the foster care system (and twins in the infant room were being fostered and in line to be adopted.) They system has major flaws but I would have adopted the little girl in my class in a second (she was being adopted by the single working mom who fostered her for two years - so she now has a mom and doesn't need us.) She is a delight and has so much potential. I was so happy being her teacher on Sundays the few short hours I had her. She will be a wonderful daughter. The twins are now her younger siblings. Their adoptive/ foster mom is a single working mom in her 50's. It's not easy but she has a great support community in our church.

We are still looking at domestic adoption but because of Q we will only consider legally free children who if they have siblings - the siblings are in the area.

There are really wonderful stories out there and a lot depends on the adoptive family (because an individual doesn't adopt - a family does - aunts, cousins, grandparents and siblings.)

I know you would make a terrific mom! Why? Because the three top ingredients you seem to have 1) love 2) a supportive family and 3) a sense of humor (order of importance changes on a daily/hourly basis)

What a wonderful journey to be on.

BTW - I inquired about a little 4 year old boy in the foster system and a few weeks later was told that the foster family he lived with was applying to adopt him. I was sad for me (he seemed so wonderful) but so very happy for he and they. Good things do happen here at home too!

Something Like Normal said...

Wow Tami - there really is so much to do in the world. When I first began the adoption journey I thought I would never adopt an older child. Now I think about it a lot, but as I just got my referral for the baby I will wait and see how things go, but in a few years I may be starting this process all over again (AHAHHH) with an older child.

Tami said...

Thanks ladies for checking in on me, for the kind words and support. I know if I decide to foster or adopt an older child it won't be easy but it will be in my heart. This has always been a part of my path, I'm just trying to do a better job of paying attention to what my path is these days. Lots of prayer and I'm still going to play that lotto. :-)

I love to hear that some of you are also considering this path and for those of you that are not, I'm glad to have your ear and support. I love my blog buddies! You guys are awesome! Big group hug now!

LoveNotes4CocoPrincess said...

Oh Tami, you usually have me crying from laughing so hard, but today, you have me crying because this post has touched an emotional chord in my soul. I pray God's direction and favor upon you and any decision you choose!

And, if the adoptions-gods are listening, please allow Tami to hit the lottery---but then, why am I asking them when I can ask our Heavenly Father for financial favor?!

Sweet Patience said...

Hi Tami,
Glad to see you back!
I have a first cousin who adopted through foster care. Her daughter came to her as a baby and she became legally hers after about 2.5 years. Also, very close friends of ours first child was foster to adopt and he came to them right under a year and his situation took almost 2 years before TPR was done. He only knew my girlfriend and her husband as his parents since he was placed with them at an early age. Their second child came through private domestic adoption one month after his arrival. They went from 0 kids to 2 kids in 1 month. It is a test of faith, just like with anything else.

As you already know my story..we started off looking in domestic, then we were led to Ethiopia, and then after beginning the Et paperwork we were led back to Domestic. It was a tough decision because we were really excited about the Et program. However, we have learned to be obedient and not just follow our feelings as to what we want to do when we want to because of what is comfortable for us. I guess sometimes we have to be taken out of our comfort zone.

I hope that everything works out for you in both cases if this is your desire to foster to adopt and adopt from Ethiopia.

Anna said...

as a former foster mom.....you just have to be really firm and educated and at the top of your game before entering the insane world that is the crumbling mess of foster care :)
i know,i know, ive written about this before...

Jennifer said...

I adopted my 2 boys through foster care! They were 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 when I got them in placement; a year later I adopted them. They are now 15 and 16 years old! They had been in several placements. They are doing great!