Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Stupid Big Mouth - Part I

My bestest friend (K) in the world lives in LA. We have been like two peas in a pod since college, hmmm (covering mouth) years ago. I don't see her as much as I would like, maybe once a year, but we talk a few times a week. We've had normal ups and downs yet we always come out on top. I am the Godmother to her first child who is now 4. I was the maid of honor in her wedding. I knew her husband in college as well although she didn't. When either one of us has money and the other doesn't, we send it. When we shop for ourselves, the other is likely to get something as well. When one of us needs a bill paid and the other has it, we do it. We know all of the other's dirty little secrets (of course I don't have any of those). There is nothing we wouldn't do for each other.

Now, the tricky part.

When I decided to choose Baby I's godmother/godparents that was a tough decision for me. Since I am single I wanted it to be more than in name sake. Some people choose godparents because they were guilted in to it or others because they are good friends. I wanted to choose the person/people who my daughter would not only love but who would see on a regular basis and feel like she really is a part of their lives. What if something does happen to me and I walk through those pearly gates? I want to make sure Baby I has the least amount of transition as possible. I want her to have the same (or like) experiences that I would provide with the family and know she is wanted. Also, because I am single, I want to make sure I have a positive male role model in her life at all times. I want to have seen the man (who is her godfather) interact with both children and adults alike. Basically, just as I was/am to my mother, my baby is going to mean everything to me so choosing padrinos (godparents) was tough.

Enter A.

A and I met about 5 years ago and have been hanging tough ever since. We just clicked. A, her husband and 9 year old daughter live 5 minutes from me. She took me to the hospital at 4am when I was literally on my death bed. She always has a helping hand and ear. We are crafty together. Run our weekend errands together. Hold yard sales together. Eat dinner regularly together and text when annoyed. Her husband is awesome with their daughter and other kids. Our family shares culture and they are committed to children in general.

Both K and A are my closest friends for different reasons but ironically we love similar things and hate the others as well. I am blessed to have them both.

So, who did I choose as Baby I's godparents and where does my stupid big mouth come in to play? I'll tell you in the next post. I would say tomorrow but if you know me you know that really may not happen. ;-)

Monday, December 28, 2009

More Fabulousness for Baby I

Remember when I said I was going to use this fabric for the nursery and build the design around it?

Well, I'm a Gemini. I changed my mind and fell in love with something else.
I am registered on this fabulous site (www.wishpot.com) which I keep track of the items I love and when it is marked down I get an email. How cool is that? So, I was on one of my favorite store's website (Anthropologie) and found a wallpaper I loved but I didn't love the price of $198 a roll. Since it is Anthropologie and they have awesome sales I just politely saved it in Wishpot and went about my indecisive business. A month or two later I get a notice from Wishpot that said the wallpaper was marked down to $29.99 a roll. WHAT? Sold! I bought two rolls for Baby I's room and just like that the fabric has moved to be a part of the playroom decor. Yes, I know I am just a mess, but you just wait! Fabulousness is coming soon! In about 6-9 months that is! LOL

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Day after Christmas shopping...gotta love it. I went out to get buttons for a coat but felt my car going in the direction of the thrift store and Anthropologie. It wasn't me I tell you. My first stop was the thrift store where I found a balance bike. So what did I pay? Check it out:

Balance bike normally $90. ThriftME price $4.84 (5% of the original) I am too lazy to take a picture b/c it is 5am but it looks exactly like this but the stain is a little faded from sitting in the sun. When I get on my paint run this summer, I plan to throw this little cutie in the mix also. A nice orange and yellow or turquoise and yellow will be fabulous I think!

Then my car keep on going to Anthropologie where I was very lucky because this store is moving and is the only Anthropologie in the area having a 40% of clearance items! SCORE. I found a dress, pair of pants, shirt and belt. The original price of all items was $292. ThriftME price was $31.68 (10% of the original).

Ahhh....a great day in ThriftME land not to be confused with ThriftME island (that was for you Robbin).

Friday, December 25, 2009


Since I had absolutely nothing to do today (my last year of this! YEAHHH), I have been cleaning out my blog reader. I had over 130 blogs I was trying to keep up with. It was actually stressing me so I got rid of about 50. Now, If you do the calculation I still have over 80. Next holiday or snow day I'm getting rid of more...this is a full-time job I tell you...I'm sure I won't be getting rid of yours though. ;-)

Anyhoo, while looking at blogs I came across a man who did a raisin experiment with his son 2 years in a row. The first year when his kid was 3, his son seemed pretty happy about the raisins ranking his squeal a 6 out of 10. The second year when he was 4 his son was none too happy. As a matter of fact he couldn't believe he had "RAISINS!...You gave me raisins? Here, put this in your food!" O. MY. GOODNESS. This is the funniest Christmas present opening I have ever heard. It is a classic. Listen to both audio recordings here. It is so funny that I think I may do that experiment with Baby I but not using raisins. I'm looking forward to tormenting my child(ren) just as my mother did me! Opps I mean loving them dearly! LOL

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Bigger & Deffer

As I've gotten older many things have changed and one of those is my hair. My hair used to be crazy thick and crazy long (I could sit on it). But, I got it cut then started the necessary dye at age 25 due to being prematurely gray. So now I have regular, pretty unremarkable hair (to me). It is never going to grow to my butt again and frankly I'm over that. Ok...I do miss it but why cry over spilled milk....I just want something stylish. Since I wear my hair natural 80% of the time I want a hairstyle that works. So, in the spring/summer I'm going to go to a curly salon in NYC and get this cut.

My hair now. It's not to much different. The cut will add a little more volume. Make it Bigger & Deffer.

I love the cut but my mother and best friend don't. Not that I care (sorry Mom) but I like their feedback anyway. What do you think? Like, love or hmmm...not really. Again, not that I care but I thought I would ask. You won't ever be able to confuse me for a stodgy Mom.

BTW...for those of you who don't know what deffer is...remember LL Cool J's Bigger & Deffer album back in the day? I need love...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

CIS Get it Together

Last week I got a letter from CIS that said they lost a weeks worth of fingerprints and of course mine were a part of them. If it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all! So, on Friday I hustled myself down to USCIS before the blizzard of 2009 and took new ones. Let's hope they hold on to these! Still waiting for one authentication from Oklahoma then I need to go to Maryland to get other certifications and then to get my authentications then I'm done until the one from CIS comes! Then off to DC I go for that one then...package complete! What a journey.

2010 will be great!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Wonder Why Newspapers Are Failing?

They don't check facts anymore...and I'm mad about it that they tried to take Public Enemy down with the sinking ship!

This video still reminds me how "unattractive" Flava Flav is! What were those women thinking in The Flavor of Love...couldn't have been me!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Bummed Out

I'm so happy all of my blog buddies are getting their referrals, passing court and picking up their children but I am sad.  I want my daughter home.  I know this process has taken me forever due to personal reasons but now, that I am ready, I want Baby I home. I'm hoping my dossier will be on it's way to Ethiopia at the end of the month but that means at least 6 months of referral waiting but probably more like 7 or 8 then 6-7 weeks for court then another few weeks for travel.  Yes, I'm pretty bummed...but I know it gives me more time for things I know I must accomplish before Baby I.  

Hurry up documents!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Document Update

Still waiting for a few documents in the mail but my authentications are rolling in!  

Soon and very, very soon!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Word for Today: Bargain

Along with my "shopping" I have found a few sites that will help you save a few dollars so I thought I would share.  It's kinda fun to get free things in the mail even if it is only for 1-2 loads of laundry or a few cups of coffee.  I get to try new things out and I get a chance to open something besides bills.  I hope you enjoy some of the resources (I have more but I thought I would just post a few):

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Deal of the Day

You know by now that I am a thrift store loving, bargain finding, vintage wearing, trendy yet couture, bohemian mama (soon to be).  So, since I have time to kill I'm starting a new posting called Deal of the Day.  Robbin knows I like to call it Thrift Store Thursdays, but you never know where I'll find a deal and some I'll share with you so stay tuned.  

This past week I got a jogging stroller, vintage school desk and hangers.  I wasn't looking for any of the items but... Rule #1 of bargain shopper - be open to a bargain at any time! 

The Stroller - $21.96

This Bell jogging stroller looks like it was never used more than a few times.  It's in perfect condition not evan a fingerprint on the foam handle bar.  If you know anything about jogging strollers you know they are pricey; I got this baby for a song...hmmm....Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah (remember that from church?)!

The Vintage School Desk - $4.54

In my family room I have a ginormous vintage chalkboard that I got on Freecycle (note...free).  It's like 8-10 feet long.  Baby I is going to have her own corner so when I am washing, in my office or watching the tube she can play.  Her playroom is on the second loft level, but I won't feel comfortable with her all the way up there until she is much older.  Plus, I followed my mother from room to room...I think I still do when she is around.  I recall last month when she left the room I said "Mommy where are you going?"  She said "the bathroom."  Me..."can I go?"  Just joking...but I did ask.  

I think the desk will go nicely and look Fab once repainted and cleaned up!  It looks like a big girl/boy desk but it is made for toddlers.  

The hangers - $6.48 for 95

And just as I was trying to escape from the store I saw these colorful hangers.  It looks like someones grandmother (definitely not mine) carefully knitted coverings for all of them.  They are so cute and will look fabulous in Baby I's closet.  NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!  Right now the closet is full of baby hangers so I'll just pack them away for a few years until her clothes can fit them.  I had to get them.  You know the rule...Be prepared for a bargain at any time!  And Rule #2- You snooze you loose or think long, think wrong.  A thrift store doesn't keep items long.  If you like it/love it...get it because it will NOT (I repeat WILL NOT) be there when you turn the corner to come back and get it.  I've had many a bargain woe is me stories.  :-)

Tell me about your bargains and where you got them from.  I'm always open to new place where I can get a bargain.  

See you soon for Deal of the Day!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Biometrics Today

This morning I am going to have my FINAL Biometrics appointment at USCIS.  

Last time I did this I had a big post and told jokes.  

This time...I just want it over.  

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sew What?

While I'm waiting for my final documents to come in the mail and to pass the time until Baby I comes home, maybe I'll start sewing again.  Yes, I can sew, but I don't like difficult projects.  Lazy.  

While surfing the web I found this cute pattern (on Etsy) for a little bubble skirt. 

Maybe I'll make this hat also for next fall/winter.

Sew what do you think?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Baby Sightings

Last night was the first night (where in my dream) I actually saw Baby I's face.  Wow.  What a beautiful face it is...she was very tiny (no surprise) had a beautiful brown complexion, piercing eyes and a tiny little bit of slicked down hair on her round head.  When I saw her and held her I just started crying.  

I know we all have these dreams of seeing our child(ren), but I still have this real feeling in my stomach.  Like little butterflies.  Maybe I am now having these dreams again because dossier completion is around the corner...that's weeks in adoption speak.  

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Close To My Heart

Since I am on the count down to dossier completion (waiting for final appointments only), I thought I would love to have one of those lovely Ethiopian necklaces so many wear when waiting for their babes to come home.  Then I thought, everyone has one, I want something different and I really don't want to explain why I'm wearing a shape of Africa around my neck to a random stranger. Yes, after 2 years in this process you get a little tired of answering questions (me: Because. Why not? You should try it. How many children have you adopted in Africa, America or otherwise?...oops I digress). Something I can call my own and maybe pass on to Baby I.  I'm sentimental like that.  So, on one of my thrift days or as I call it Thrift Store Thursdays (everything is 25% off or on holidays it's 50%) I found this great vintage locket.  It's not an ordinary locket but this huge long one.  I'm so excited.  I can put Baby I's picture in it, but until then I'll put a small map of Ethiopia in it with the name Baby I on the other side. 

When I don't have hair all over my head and sleep in my eyes I'll take a picture wearing the locket.  You're gonna love it...I know I do!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Free Carseat

I forgot to mention I took a class last week where I got a free carseat and fire extinguisher.  I'm appreciative of my free seat but I don't love it.  It just doesn't look very comfy.  No, I didn't sit my big butt in it however it just looks hard and it isn't cute!  Yes, I know that is NOT important.  LOL  I did some checking and the carseat is okay for the value...we got shortchanged on the cushioning though so I would have to buy more if this were it.  I'm going to use this carseat as the back-up for her padrinos (godparents) who live 5 five minutes away and grandmother when she comes to town.  Other than that, I'm still getting a Britax!  

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

On the Count Down to Fabric Love

I've received a few calls and emails from people wondering what is going on with me and the status of my adoption...basically wth (heck) is going on!  Here's the skinny:

- sitting here (obviously)
- simultaneously finishing my FINAL...repeat after me...FINAL updates (for everything) and DOSSIER! 
- waiting for my fingerprint appointment which is Oct. 28 (I believe)
- believing my dossier will FINALLY be submitted within the next 30 days!  Yes, yuck it up.  

Now I can get my count on.  

Why did I take so long with all of the concerns and changes with singles?  Well, life happens!  I am a firm believer that What God Has For You Is For You.  No, life is never going to be perfect or there is never going to be a perfect time to be a parent, but in my heart of hearts my spirit and my God said peace be still.  I had to be still until I was at peace with whatever came forth in my life (and with the adoption)...

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and  your minds in Christ Jesus. ”  Philippians 4: 6­7 

Finally, I'm at peace.  Let the wait begin!!!!!

In other exciting, breaking news.  I picked out a fabric for the baby's room, although you have about 6 months of my decor changes...I really like this one.  Fun no?  My mother said "WOW, busy!"  I said, "Of course and fun too!"  You can't have the prima donna II (my family calls me prima donna I) now can you?  LOL

What do you think?   It is a vintage fabric I found for $4!  I love it even if you don't, I've never been one to follow many trends.  It should give you hints at what's soon to come...but if you know some of the hints can you tell me because I honestly haven't figured them out yet.  LOL

Monday, August 31, 2009

Baby Mama Drama Queen Has Landed in Ethiopia

I usually don't get to report baby news first and I don't have Facebook (yet), so I may not be the first, but I just got off of Skype with Robbin AND she just came back (to the hotel) from seeing LuLu.  She uploaded a video for me and can I tell you Scotland Lulako is amazingly beautiful!  

She was all smiles for her Mommy!  Robbin said she did not cry one time.  You know Robbin is not very emotional (oh, sorry Robbin...that is our little secret) and doesn't cry so one of her friends that traveled with her (two went) cried and when she called me, I cried!  Can you believe it...I cried.  What a Wuss!!!!!  Robbin laughed at us both.  

Technology is amazing and I love it!  If I hear anything else I'll let you know.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I had a dream that I adopted 4 siblings from Ethiopia at the same time!  ROTFL!  Now we know that was a dream.  


I hit the major jackpot AND

Move my mother to this city AND

hit the major jackpot...oh, I said that already... you better believe I will NEVER adopt 4 siblings at once!  

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I woke up in a cold sweat also.  

Friday, July 31, 2009

Win a Designer Chair for Your Baby

I normally don't post about contests, but this is my favorite chair.  I haven't gotten one yet, but I would love to have a big one and little one for Mommy and Baby I. 

Over at A Brooklyn Limestone she is giving away a mini Ghost chair by Kartell.  Check it out! Maybe the winner will be you.  

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hair Helper

Many of you mamas wonder how to keep you daughter's hair fresh and free of split ends.  One way to help is a silk or satin pillow case and I can help you out with that.  I have 6 brand new ones that I'm selling from my collection.  Don't ask why I have 6, you never know with me.  It's just weird.  

The cases are a beautiful chocolate color and still in the package.  Originally priced at $29.95 but I'm letting them go at cost for $15 plus shipping.  See: satin serenity for the scoop!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Love These!

How cute are these coats and hat by Lemon Loves Lime? Kinda pricey, but heck I have another season or two before Baby I can wear them so I'm looking forward to SALE time!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

She Has The Moves

Can you move like this?

I know I can't.  This little girl could give Beyonce a run for her money.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My New Nephew

Did I tell you I have a new nephew?

He is my mother's first grandchild, but I told my brother he better have a boy as to not steal my baby girl's thunder.  He obliged.  My baby brother is so accommodating! :-) 

Behold the cuteness of Adam Wesley.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Mama and Baby will Sparkle Together

I'm not very subtle.  Shocker.  I like to get my point across.  In my talk, walk, dress or writing (lol).  I'm bohemian, couture, vintage, glittery and love sparkles!  

A few weeks ago, on one of my thrift store haunts, I found a silver metallic vintage baby dress that will match a top I have.  Sold.  I couldn't hold my excitement.  Baby I will be a little vintage couture fly baby.  LOL   Now, all I need is my baby.  Help me!  

FYI...my top used to be a fabulous dress that I wore with pride, 10 years ago, when I was a size 4-6.  AWWW...dem was the days.  If I could figure out how to get my printer (I've only had my Mac over a year now) working with my Mac I would scan a lovely picture for you.  Youth.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Black Kids?

The name of this pop group is Black Kids.  Hmmmm...scratching my head.  What ye think? 

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I Want a Madsen Cargo Bike!

In addition to having visions of one day having a daughter, I have visions of the two of us riding around our neighborhood on one of those cool cargo bikes.  My dropping Baby I off at daycare/preschool, going to Whole Foods or the Co-op, the Saturday Farmer's Market, to the Park, to visit friends, to dinner and so on. The problem is my visions always come at a very high cost, but... I found a great contest to enter on Madsen Cycles site.  The probability of my winning is low, but nothing beats a failure but a try.  Do you think I can add this bike to my baby registry? Maybe someone will get it for Baby I?

Oh, you can try to win also, someone has to have the luck of the Irish...maybe you are Irish?  :-)

Madsen Cycles Cargo Bikes

Sunday, June 21, 2009

OMG...I missed my 2 year anniversary!

Can you believe it?  I've been blogging for 2 years!  I certainly thought Baby I would be home by now.  So many of you have said you saw my blog before you even began your process and now your baby is home.  Some people who used to like me don't even show me any love anymore (insert sad face here) probably because they hate my ramblings or because there is no cute little face to look at.  How do you think I feel!  LOL  

Man plans and God does.  So many things have happened in the last two years that have been of my doing and some not but the end result was the same, it wasn't time.  As much as I wanted it to be my time, it wasn't but now my time is coming.  I no longer stress anything.  I just know that it is.  I just know that God's timing and his hand in my life is perfect.  It always is perfect...and as much as I hate to admit it, the last two years of my life have been perfect as well.  Full of pain, hurt, tears, trauma and drama but perfect because without that I would not be here in the glory of today's peace being able to say..."I made it through."  I am now that much stronger.  Not only will I be a better mother for Baby I, I am now a better person and for that I am so grateful.  

To see how my journey began one year ago click here.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Will This Ever End?

My social worker said my homestudy is expired!  I need to update it and redo ALL of my forms!!!!!!!!  


$800 more plus all of the other costs and wait times.  



ARGH...will this ever end????? 

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Passport Photos

Can you tell me why my passport photos look like I should be entering drug rehab?  I am NOT sending these pictures in with my dossier!  I must try again (with new pictures) and pray for a better outcome.  I'm pretty sure I'll be stopped entering/leaving any foreign country with this passport picture.  UGHHHHH.  My old one was so cute...dem was da days.  Was it the lack of sleep?  Different hairstyle that didn't photograph well?  Them telling me not to smile (new rule)?  Or just the additional 10 years?  Hmmm...I'm gonna go with the first 3.   

Friday, June 12, 2009

What's New?

  1. Read my buddy Robbin's post and decided stream of conscious posting is a good thing. REAL.
  2. Turned 40.  WHATEV'.
  3. I'm obsessed with my dossier at the moment.  Almost done.  Waiting on my new passport.
  4. Dating someone new.  ADORE.
  5. Still buying Baby I stuff but not clothes, mostly bedroom and playroom items.  INSANE.
  6. Who knew I had so many items to get rid of.  Who bought all of this crap any way? ARGH.
  7. I've spent hours upon hours in my front yard working on creating a native garden. Patience is a virtue.  Patience is a virtue.  I'm going to start working on my backyard tomorrow.  Send up some prayers!  NEED.
  8. Freecycle has become my bestfriend.  People want all of the stuff I don't and I usually want someone else's unwanted items which have become my treasures.  LOVE.  
  9. I have new design clients. FUN.
  10. I volunteer on Friday's at my church with the youth ministry. VERY FUN.
  11. Excited that my countdown will finally begin to referral in a matter of weeks.  I know you never thought this day would come.  Hmmm...me either.  FINALLY!  

Monday, May 11, 2009

Grandmother's Rock

Look at the cool poster I'm getting for the playroom courtesy of Grandma.  

Thanks Mom!  You Rock!  I think I'll keep you.

Not only will my kid(s) be stylin' (What happens when adoption takes 3 years to complete? You have a closet full of clothes...literally) she/he will have the cutest playroom on the block.  Ok, never mind I only have 14 houses on my street.  Semantics.  

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Have Journal, Make Plan

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a doctor, nurse, model, teacher, rich, a mommy, veterinarian, designer, an architect and have lots of clothes.  My family just called me a prima donna, but alas I never quite figured out how to turn that "uniqueness" into anything tangible.

I've decided I would help Baby I out early (because clearly I'm going to be raising her and she'll be a mini me, so what does that give you?) by getting her this journal because I'm pretty sure this really should have been my plan:
Since it's too late for me becoming a princess and since I'm coming into my own now that I'm turning 40 in June (and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up) I've decided that this is my "new" plan, so I'm going to start making plans now:
Since I have been having Baby Boy dreams, maybe I should help him with his future as well (what a good Mom I am).  You know I'm all about living your dreams.  
Ok, okay!  If all else fails Mommy will be practical:

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

Most of the time on holidays you get grumpy posts from me but nosirrebob, not any more!  I'm finishing my dossier and this time next year if Baby I is not home at least I will have my court date and be on my way, so I'm happy and thought I would say Happy Easter!  

I know, I know this is a first!  :-)  

Friday, April 10, 2009

What You Do When You Don't Have Kids

One of my friends doesn't have any kids.  She says she may want to "have" one but she isn't married.  She just turned 43.  To satisfy her child urge she got a dog last year.  Now, I know that dogs are like kids, but her dog gets treated like Baby I will (ok, almost).  He goes to camp, the salon, has a dog walker, special meals, etc.  She was even considering having a nose surgery to open up his nasal passage some (deviated septum?).  He did have a few surgeries last year which set her back a cool $6k; he is still a baby not even 2.  Whew.

By the way, his daycamp fees are the same as what you would pay for your child to go to daycare.  Following are pictures of her dog from daycamp playing soccer, with the Easter Bunny and on an Easter egg hunt.  Hilarious!

On a side note: my mother is considering giving me her dog.  You better believe, as much as I love that dog, Mr. Pepper Fox will not participate in any daycamp unless it is in my backyard and it involves chasing a squirrel, cat or one of those big a@@ opossum.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm Not Going To Be Selfish...Today.

Sometimes I have these really great finds and I don't share.  Don't act like you are shocked, come on you don't always share either.  Remember the time there was that Britax carseat at Target for a steal at $42?  Only 1 person emailed and told me about it, yet I read about it on a dozen blogs...plus those who didn't post about it.  I get it, we like to keep our great finds to ourselves and want to be the only ones with something.  But, this time I came across something that was really, really, really cute (that I'm getting Baby I) and I was in a sharing mood like when I told you about MamaBargains ...ok, so here it is:

A personalized wire hanger for kids.  Oooppsss...forget the "no more wire hangers" thing that Joan Crawford had; I mean how many of these have you seen before?  Wouldn't this make a great baby shower gift for friends?  Yup!  For only $10 your gift, from lilafrances shop on Etsy, will be the most original and cutest!  

My civic duty is done for the day!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord?

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....
author: unknown

Lord ...
Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone the world would hold back?
Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled" when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my skin, 
as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation and make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black?

Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and panther, 
Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back...that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Bored with Blog Name...again

I'm sooooooo bored with this blog name!  I created it at the beginning of the process before I really knew what a blog was and before I realized I even liked blogging.  Now, I have two blogs and even have a little online personality...therefore this blog name reallyyyy doesn't reflect what I would like it to.  Yes, Baby I is my blessing, but I have a "mo betta" blog name that I am dying to use.  What do you think?  Should I wait to re-do my blog until I finally get a referral (btw...I'm back to finishing my dossier) or should I start now?  Oh, I will have to change my address (have that) too because I want everything new.  

Hmmm, now that I've used the blog for my own therapy today, I've decided to wait because I really don't have anything new to say.  Same 'ole, same 'ole but just know as soon as I get my referral...WE'RE MOVING!   And you better come visit us at our swanky new spot!  

Friday, March 27, 2009

Say Mama

Exactly one week later, more Baby Boy dreams last night:

I was in my family room in the basement (where I spend most of my time) and I turned my office into his nursery.  My mother put him down to sleep, but I wanted to see him and went in.  He was in his crib just rolling around smiling.  I laughed and couldn't resist picking him up and then I had to change his diaper.  He started with the kiddie chatter saying "ba ba."  I replied say "ma ma."  He laughed and we went back and forth until I woke up. 

Am I going to have these dreams of babies, until Baby I or Baby Boy come home, for the next year or so?  Nesting or heart-rending?  

Friday, March 20, 2009

Still Dreaming

Last night I had another dream...about my son this time!  

I was at a party and a father who could not take care of his little boy asked me to be his mother.  I was taken aback but in my articulate nature said "seriously?"  (all those degrees and all I can could up with is seriously)  He said "yes" and gave me the child wrapped up like a bunch of roses with one fresh rose sticking out.  When I got back to the party, where my mother was, I said to her "congratulations it's a boy!"  I proceeded to unwrap the package only to find roses.   My heart sank.  This guy quickly came around the corner saying "you have my roses."  He took them and gave me another package.  I opened the new package and inside I didn't find roses, but the tiniest baby boy.  He was like a little parrot though, mimicking me.  I started crying because he was in my arms.  He looked sad and he had bruises on his face, I wondered if something was physically wrong with him and if I made a mistake.  However, the longer I held him the happier he became and the more his imperfections balanced out or became perfect (if you will).  It was like he knew he had a safe place and mother now, so all that was wrong internally and externally could now heal.  

Deep huh?    

Now, to lighten up the mood, since you have seen my thoughts about Baby I's room, I wanted to share Baby Boy's room ideas too.  I've just started the boy collection, so I'm sure there are more to come.  You know I believe in beautiful living!  I guess I should start playing that lotto too!  All this foreshadowing is telling me that Mommy of 2 is in my near future.  

Dang, I hope I start dreaming about a very handsome and wealthy husband (that is mine) next! ;-)  


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Do You Think It Was Something I Said?

Thanks to the advent of social networking, twice last week, I connected with friends I haven't seen in -- covering my mouth while saying the number -- years.  I knew one of my useless obsessions online networking mediums would yield success eventually!  

We sent a few obligatory emails back and forth with the "WOWS" and "what is going on in your life?"  After I got the updates about divorces, kids, careers, etc. I shared my big news: I'M ADOPTING!  




Was it something I said?  I told one of them I was adopting from Africa, the other I may have said Ethiopia or I may have just said adopting, but nevertheless...


Oh, well.  I guess I won't hear from them for umpteen more years again.

I guess it was something I said; I plan to say it over and over again until Baby I comes home!  I'm adopting!  Haters.