Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Girlfriend Chatter

Before I FINALLY comment on the CNN special let me catch you up a little.  I probably don’t have anymore blog readers, but what the hey.  I’ve been pretty inconsistent this summer, but one of my summer resolutions is to do me and that is what I am trying to do.  Unfortunately, my blog has been suffering, but I know all of the others have been holding it down!  

I’ve found trying to do me, takes more energy and time than I thought (who knew?).  I have FINALLY admitted that I cannot do it ALL! This is a major resolution for me so I deserve some kudos for this people! But guess what? I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be superwoman anymore, just the best woman I can be. Hell, superwoman isn’t real anyway and all of those women who say they can do it all (I think) are on Prozac, Xanex or some other drug running around trying to do it all! Not me. I’m going to take my little piece of the pie and move on. Now, I just need to figure out what kind of pie I want! ☺  Too many choices!!!!! 

I’ve let go of several “friendships” this summer that meant no good for Baby I or me. I’ve stopped discussing my plans with everyone because I finally get that not everyone cares about them. If I were pregnant, they would be totally happy with hearing all of my plans and so supportive, but since I’m not they are not interested…too bad for them. I’ve learned to stop justifying who I am and my choices for my life and for Baby I. I mean come on people…I’m almost 40 years old; don’t you think I’ve thought this through?  

On the adoption front…because I was on the slow road I was just told that even though my home study was just approved in March my first home study visit was in October so guess what that means? I have to have my entire home study updated, which essentially means done over!!!!! Can you say MORE $$$$$$ and MORE documentation!!!!!  ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!. One of the new guidelines for Gladney is that we don’t curse on our blogs (and I’m trying to eliminate the use of those words from my vocabulary, but I can’t help but still think them in times of frustration…hey I know them!) so I can’t put any curse words here but please fill in all the ones you know right here $$##@@@@&&&!!!!...this is how I feel. I know it is not Gladney’s fault that I was on the slow road, but what can I do…NADA!  In the end when Baby I is home and in my arms will I really care about the extra everything?  NOPE..OF COURSE NOT, but right now how am I feeling????


Anna said...

I would love to hear more about your expectations of adoption vs. pregnancy. Ive decided not to blog about it because it makes me sound whiney...but I think I was expecting more excitement about my adoption from those around us as well. No baby shower, flowers or cards, not even from work (where I have been for 6 years). Im not sure what it is that seperates peoples thinking about adoption and pregnancy. Is it because the cost of adoption is more in the forfront and people see it as extravagant or something? I dont know the answers, but I do know it has made me feel a little sad....

Tami said...

Anna, that is a very good question of expectations, let me think about that. I'm sorry that they didn't even give you a baby shower...that stinks!!!! Yes, this is extravagant isn't it???? That's a joke! All of the saving we go through, working second jobs, shopping sales, thrift stores, freecylce, craigslist and everything trying to find our babies the best. That is insane! It definitely makes me sad also, but what makes me happy is having found a new family in all of you guys.

Stacy said...

Delurking to agree that most people don't "get it" with the adoption thing. I limited many of my friendships during this journey because they just don't want to understand. I think it's not only the difference between pregnancy and adoption, but also that we're single women making the choice to adopt (even though we're of an age that single motherhood isn't an isolated thing). I enjoy your blog and appreciate your perspective on things. (My current adoption blog is private. Leave a comment on my old blog,, and I'd love to invite you to my other blog.)

haze said...

1st - kudos for sticking to your "Do Me" resolution. It really is a big deal.

And letting go of those friendships - I bet you feel lighter now. I'm guessing those friends would have suddenly become interested again when Baby I is home with you, but a TRUE friend is patiently there the WHOLE time - during the waiting, the whining, the good days, & the bad days. Pregnant belly or not.

(speaking of bad friends, I owe you an email. my bad)

Bennett said...

Hey Tami, sorry to hear a/b the HS update.........I too did away w/a friendship this that was a bit to drama filled for me, after 7 years of friendship, so I can really relate to what you are saying.

I have to agree and say I just had this same conversation with someone just a few days ago on the topic of support from co-workers and friends when it comes to adopting.........there is a strong disconnect when it comes to adoption. I hate to say it, but I have come to sum it up in the light of, people do not know it is for real until you are leaving or baby is home. I hope this is the case any way. Outside of my forum friends and my dear mom, this is my only support base. I often wonder if I had a belly that was growing over the next 9 months then it would be well wishes all over the place, but I have taken it into my hands to make people realize that I am having a baby through adoption and you WILL acknowledge it!!!!!!!!!, I know I will loose a few friends along the way for this in your face approach, but I spoke to a freind who is also adopting and she made me realize last night (thanks Robbin) that you have to claim it and make it be known other wise, people go a/b their business like this major event is not happening in your life.