Save The CeleBRITy Children!

(This was too funny, I had to post. I know so unlike me...more like Tasha ;-) )

African family adopts Britney's kids.
By Ellen Tarlin Posted Thursday, Oct. 4, 2007, at 5:19 PM ET

LOS ANGELES—A Malawi couple has completed adoption paperwork for Sean Preston Federline, 2, and Jayden James Federline, 1, after their mother, Britney Spears, lost custody of the children Monday. It was Ms. Spears' inability to provide car seats that initially brought the plight of her children to the attention of the Malawi couple, who wish to remain anonymous, and who will be referred to here as Mr. and Mrs. M. But it was the widely circulated photograph of Ms. Spears' vagina that really drew their concern. "In our country, a good mother does not show her business to the press," Mrs. M said. "It is very bad luck." After Spears' "performance" at MTV's Video Music Awards, the adoptive couple knew they had to do something. "We could not allow innocent children to live under such horrific conditions anymore," they explained. "The Third World can no longer turn a blind eye to the tragedy affecting so many U.S. celebrity children."

Los Angeles, where the Federline children have been living, is one of the richest cities in the world, trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of depravity, narcissism, and veganism. Nearly 27 percent of the children in Los Angeles suffer the misfortune of having celebrity parents. Mr. and Mrs. M were stunned by the deplorable conditions these victims live in. Children are subject to verbal abuse via cell phone, and babies are dangled over balcony railings. "Fathers kill mothers, and then put out badly written books about it," Mr. M said. "And the names these children must bear," said Mrs. M. "Apple, Fifi Trixibell, Fuchsia, Moxie CrimeFighter, Pilot Inspektor, Sage Moonblood—what kind of future can these poor children have?"

From Slate Online Magazine