Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My Big Mouth- Part Duex

Before I get to Part Duex, what about the boy? He is in Italy! Hmmm...yeah...have at it!

Now, moving on to my Big Azz Mouf!

So, I was on the phone with my bestfriend and was talking about my free car seat. How it was okay but I didn't plan on using it in my car. It didn't look comfy enough for my baby girl's precious, diva head. Let's not even mention it wasn't cute enough to be in my car. She agreed that I should get a Britax. But then I couldn't leave well enough alone, it was like I had diarrhea of the mouth. I then said, you know the car seat will be good for an extra car. I'm going to give it to A and her husband because they are going to help me with pickups plus since she is the godmother I have to make sure she has all the tools. OOOOPPPPPSSSSSSS! As soon as I said it I was like #$%! I never had that conversation with her to tell her the reasons why I chose the other friend as the godmother. As soon as I said it I heard her say OOOHHH. It was shock and disbelief. You know like Be-atch we've been best friends for 20 years and this is how you treat me! I felt about the size of an ant right then saying please step on me. So, in hopes of creating a diversion, I just did what I do best...kept talking. I mentioned "the other woman" again so it didn't seem so obvious. Mind you, I knew I messed up but what was I supposed to do? Well, I didn't have to do anything, my bestie got off the phone with me, along with the shock in her voice. I was so distraught. I never want to hurt her feelings because I love her bunches. Literally my heart was hurting at that moment because I knew hers was. I didn't know what to do but I had to act fast. I was afraid to call again, so I did what any self respecting woman would do who just stuck her foot in her mouth I sent an email! The email was grovelling and went something like this:

...I would go to the end of the earth for you. I shed tears for you. I won’t give you my last dime (LOL) but I will split it with you as we have both proven that. I never, ever, ever, ever want to heart you. You are closer to me than my sisters...you ARE my family. I see you as my child’s aunt, my child’s family. When I thought about raising my daughter alone and creating a family for her alone in DC I thought about who my friends were. ...they are amazingly good friends and parents. They are always there for me and have promised to help me with Baby I when she comes home...pickups from daycare, babysitting, etc. And for Latinos, padrinos are very important roles not taken lightly...it really is a parental role. I want Baby I to know that although she is being raised by a single mother that she comes from a community that loves her dearly and this choice I made to “have” her was not taken lightly and she will have has much normalcy (role models and family) as I can provide. I often feel bad that I am not there to be a part of my godson's life while he is growing up. I don’t want him to just know me on the phone, I want him to know me and really love me like he does his other Aunts, but right now I’m just that person Aunt Tami (on the phone). I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER would intentionally hurt you...now unintentionally...that has been proven many times...lol. I love you as much as I love me...even as I type this I have tears in my eyes b/c I was am so... I’m an idiot......please forgive my stupidity and mouth that just won’t stop sometimes. I gotta work on that!

Yes, this is part of the actual email. It isn't that eloquent and has lots of mistakes but I was frantic and just had to get something out. This should give you an idea of what was going on in my head.

Her response was...

"It caught me off guard but I understand. It was difficult deciding with the two kids so I know the thought process. no worries, my feelings aren't hurt."

We've never spoken on the topic again. I know it mattered and hurt but this MOUF has a mind of its own on occasion!

Now, you are probably wondering what is going to happen now that I have this information on the blog. Won't it bring up bad memories again? The answer is...No. Neither of them read the blog so I'm pretty safe. Now, they will probably both read it and respond to this post and my poor little baby won't have any godparents and it will all be because of her mamma's MOUF!


Barbara said...

Hey, email or not, at least you addressed it. Luckily she's been through the process so when she says she understands, I expect she really does. Nice foot in mouth tho.

Mommy to the Monsters said...

At least your friends want to be your children's God parents..NONE of mine do! My kids don't have any and probably never will.

Jebena said...

Barbara and MthM make valid points. And what you said in reference to Godparenting in "name" not "presence" was excellent.

I am the Godmother to two young men who live an 8-hour airplane ride away. When they were little and lived a few miles away, we saw them at least three times a week. When they moved to another State, we had them for the summers. But as they entered elementary school and had summer activities, that dropped off. Now, the oldest of them will be entering HIGH SCHOOL--voice-done-cracked-and-all...where did the time go?

We didn't get a chance to build a true Godparent/Godchildren relationship that I thought in my mind would occur--long distance Godparenting--both miss out!

PS...Thank you for being "that" woman -- one who desires no hurt hearts!

trice said...

i still say you should ask her as well as the family in DC. no rule that says there can't be more than one godmom. my baby has two.