Them: Where are you adopting from again?
T: Oh. Why don't you adopt from Haiti instead?
M: Because that was not my choice. Adoption is something I thought long and hard about and I have my reasons...I just didn't wake up and pick a straw.
M: Why don't you adopt from Haiti?
T: Well, I just thought it would be the same thing. And the need is so great in Haiti right now.
M: Oh, and the need is not great in Ethiopia?
T: It's not the same.
M: Why not?
T: They have so many kids without parents.
M: So does Ethiopia.
Statistics start flying around now from both people.
T: I still think it is a good idea for you.
M: Oh, do you? Would you tell a woman who is pregnant to abort her fetus and adopt from Haiti instead?
T: It's not the same thing.
M: It is too. We (APs) don't make the decision lightly and our children are already in our hearts. And we think about the same things and prepare the same way as someone who is pregnant would, minus the morning sickness and swollen ankles.
T: You are comparing apples and oranges.
M: No. So, you say it is. I still haven't heard you say you are going to adopt.
M: Stop judging me. Do I have a heavy heart for Haiti in all its forms? Yes. I've been doing what I can and hope that I can do more in the country but haven't figured out how yet; I'm in prayer about it though. However, I'm not going to have people tell me what is right for my life and my child.
More is said but you get the point. Now, I am pretty much talking very loud and fast at this point...I'm pissed! I've gotten 2 different responses to this conversation
- I still think it is a good idea.
- I'm sorry you were right...I don't really understand adoption and I will think before I open my mouth again.
My mother said I should have just turned them off from the beginning and she is right. I'll admit though that my adoption is so much a part of my heart that I do want to fight about it. I want people to get that this is not a one-night-stand. That I will not breakdown for anyone about this choice. I want people to get that I will not tolerate anyone berating my decision and heaven forbid my daughter when she comes home. That is absolutely out so let's have it out now! It's that old saying "you must stand for something or you will fall for anything." I want them to get that when I made a decision to adopt from Ethiopia it was my stand (ok, one of them...I had to end this post on a smiling note).