No News is Just... Purgatory

I haven't had any dreams.  

I haven't done any shopping.

My agency is not providing any hope.

I'm just here.  

Frustrated with the whole process but still here.  I have friends that started the process with me being put on waitlist but not me...I can only wait until my time which apparently is FOREVER!!!!!!!  

I feel like I'm stuck in purgatory!  

Am I a tad bit annoyed?

Yup!  Purgatory.  Annoyed.  

Oh, well.  Even if all singles were grandfathered with the current waitlist Baby I probably wouldn't be home until the summer of 2010 anyway.  What's 6 more months right?  I'm praying for a late summer 2010 referral and picking my Baby Girl up Dec. 2010.  I don't even want to talk about the new rumors that all singles are going to be banned come Sept. 2009, that is just too much for me even to deal with at this moment.  

I guess it is just the fact that I am being told they can't and won't even look at my paperwork until the 2010-2011 court year that sits on a nerve.  

I just want my baby home!!!!!!!!

OK...back to regularly scheduled programing!  

Thanks for listening/reading.  

My Dream

Now, I'm starting to have crazy dreams...thanks Robbin.  

I was at a vintage store and this woman, who I have never seen before, walked up to me and said "I heard for sure that we won't have to wait as long as they say for our children to come home."  I said "really, how do you know?"  She said "she spoke with someone from another agency who has a contact at MOWA."  She was writing the name down for me, but she didn't have a piece of paper, so she started writing, with a marker, on an antique tortoise shell plate.  I was looking at her like are you serious but of course I just wanted the information so I didn't stop her.  In the meantime, the owner came over and was very calm about it.  She just sprayed a solution that took the name away...the name was Amy Enfarri or something like that.  She then brought back a nasty mop for us to use to clean up the mess on the plate.  I asked if she had paper towels.  She said "no paper towels were available for vandals, we could use the mop then leave."  Of course we would be banned for life from the store.  I wanted so badly to say BANNED I didn't do the writing, I didn't have the pen in my hand, I don't even know this chick, but I just wanted that number of Amy Enfarri so I didn't say a word...I just waited for the unnamed vandal to finish writing the name on a piece of paper to hand to me.  Then the TV minister woke me up.  

One side of me wants to say this dream is a good sign.  The other side says this dream happened because we have been obsessing about finding every little detail about what is going on and trying to predict how long the wait will really be.  What to do?  What to do?  But, I don't really remember my dreams.  So, I'm going to go with this was a sign and that we will all be grandfathered in and Baby I will be home soon.  

BTW...if you haven't figured it out, I'm checking in from time to time.  I can't leave you guys...so now I have 2 blogs!  

I Miss This Blog!

I miss my blog!!!!  BUT...nothing is going on and (they say) will happen in my adoption until the 2010-2011 court year.  I have nothing to write about!  Whaw whaw.  

Just a little venting!  

New Blog

I finally did it!  

I have a new blog, Middle Rageously.

Come on over and visit and maybe you will come visit more often.  

I plan on shutting this site down at the beginning of the year so please come visit before then.  

No More Tears

It's always better in the morning.  These past few years have not been easy for me and yesterday was like the sour icing on my dropped cake.  I felt like my world had come to a complete halt.  

Early this morning I prayed and decided to give it up to God.  So much has happened and it has all happened for a reason.  I know that and have always believed so why stop now just because things aren't going my way?  He has never forsaken me before and will not now.  His Grace and Mercy are so apparent in my life how can I be anything but humbled and grateful. 

I've been on this path for over a year now; I was planning on submitting my dossier in the next few weeks so it would have been two years when Baby I came home anyway.  Two years will move fast.  Who knows what other blessings he will have in store for me during that time.  I have a lot of things I need to do so I'll just get to doing them.  I'm sure I'll still have pangs of sadness and want to rush the process but I'm good...God is working my life out.  

All of the things I can look forward to doing for two more years:

• sleeping
• traveling
• shopping
• spending money on me
• fixing up my house
• working late
• dating (maybe finding a husband...lol)
• sleeping more
• not cooking for two
• working on my new blog (I'll post the link soon)
• starting to work towards my black belt
• living fabulously

Hey, the more I read this list I'm thinking I'm going to like this (smile).   Maybe I'll get a dog.  

Be Blessed,

Tami

Heartbroken and Shutting Down

I just learned today that because of the new ruling for single women by MOWA and where I fall on my agency's approval list, my daughter won't be home until sometime in 2011.  I am heartbroken.  I've been crying in my mother's arms like a baby.  It's a good thing I am in South Carolina dealing with a family illness (I guess). 

I wanted you all to know, I am shutting my blog down.  I can't continue this for the next two years.  I know everything happens for a reason although I don't know what the reason for this is yet.  I'll miss you all!  

See you in two years!  

Selam,

Tami 

Day Late Dollar Short

I hate to loose out on a bargain!  Man, oh man.  Yesterday, all of you lucky ducks who won the Britax carseat I'm a little salty over here!  I wanted one.  When I found out about it last night around 10pm Target caught on and it was G-O-N-E!  So, so, sad!  If anyone bought an extra one let me know.  If you didn't buy an extra one boo on you!  LOL  I'm glad you got a bargain though.  I still have plenty of time to hopefully find another great bargain.  Lip stuck out and pouty face I have!