When I finally (the operative word) decide to do something I like to believe I do as most of you and try to prepare myself as best I can. It first starts with the bestfriend conversation: "so, I was thinking...or what do you think about..." Then it moves on to my mother: "Mommy, do you think this is the right thing to do...or do you think I'm crazy..." Then I move on to the real due diligence. I start researching and looking for information any place I can get it. I admit, I become (for a little while) slightly obsessed. Sometimes it works out for good then other times...I'm still trying to get over the other times. Let's just say, it can be better to go with your gut and heart than with a lot of data.
When I decided I was going to adopt I followed my normal due diligence routine however it was a little different because I had already done a lot of the research. Since I had tried to have a baby one year before I already had a lot of information on what it would take for me to be a parent. I had already made changes to insurance policies, did estate planning and all of that good stuff, but I was still unclear about what adoption REALLY meant for me. However, I knew I was over not being able to have a baby and so thankful that I was alive and able to adopt. So, I needed to find out everything about adoption. In the course of a few weeks I probably bought so many adoption books, magazines, went to seminars, talked to people who were/have adopted and joined adoption boards.
Now, every now and then since I am on this sloooooow road I still look for new adoption groups or other information. A little while ago I joined a pretty strange board that I thought applied to single women adopting, but tell me why have I never seen any information except how to get a man? I mean what is that all about? Sidebar: not that I wouldn't like a nice, tall, handsome and wealthy man, but something tells me that group isn't the place to find it! And speaking of boards, I find that the other adoption boards are all great as long as everyone is singing Kumbaya (ok, probably not Kumbaya because it has some religous undertones and you know that doesn't go over well on the boards, but you get the point...and if you aren't on the boards...well, this is over your head). :-)
Don't get me wrong, some of the adoption boards are working and serving their purpose and yes, I can unsubscribe from the ones that I don't like, but I stay because I, like to (as Jesse Jackson says), Keep Hope Alive. I don't know, I was always the kid in the room that thought if I went to sleep I would miss something. Maybe if I leave, I'll miss the brilliance of another AP (I did leave the "single adoption" group). Maybe I should leave and stop wasting my time because the brilliance is never coming. I don't know. Maybe I just have too much time to kill until Baby I gets here...yea, that's probably the real answer! Maybe, I just feel like I have something to offer and I'm trying to figure out what it is...until then...Kumbaya Yall!