Wednesday, September 10, 2008

First Come, First Served?

It has come to my attention that people are having major meltdowns because someone got a referral before they did.  People are throwing temper tantrums because couple D got their baby boy or woman F got a little girl and couple C is still waiting for a referral of either a boy or girl.  So, people have started complaining (I'm sure this is no shocker) on the boards, to their agency or to anyone that will listen...this isn’t fair!   I was first!  Boo-hoo…why haven’t I gotten my referral yet.  This isn't fair.  

First, people think about how all of this sounds...I mean really.  We are adults here.  This isn't place an order, stand in line, and a baby pops out!  I want to believe that even though agencies advise us that there is no specific matching, it really is not as simple as that, it can’t be.   Think about it. Families are different.  Some families have the capacity to handle physical and emotional challenges children may have while others do not.  Some request a boy or girl to complete their family while others say just bring it on…what God has for me is for me (although I still believe that regardless what child comes to your family is the child that God meant for you).  Either way adoption is never First Come, First Served!  This is not your local swap meet or Mickey D’s so people, get a grip!  Get a hobby!   Stop stressing!  Trust the process, when the child that is perfect for your family comes along it will all be worth the wait. Until then, just be happy if another family is blessed with the child that is perfect for them and know that your child is very near.


P.S.  I'm sure people are remembering why they didn't like me now.  LOL    


LoveNotes4CocoPrincess said...

I co-sign.

Really, I don't understand how folks forget that they are talking about children---life---a being with a soul! Forget virtue. We Americans are basically, a spoiled group of people enjoying the "I-want-it-now-this-instant-like-my-microwave-popcorn" me first attitude.

(Giggling) I still like you!

Ali said...

Tami - I totally agree with you about people flipping out over things and NOT acting like adults. Would people want the ET government to see that behavior? Anyway, I was wondering if you heard anything about singles adopting since we are in the same boat? - Ali

Tami said...

Ali, all I know is what is out there. That we should still move forward...swiftly.

Barbara said...

Singles are still allowed to adopt from Ethiopia, although they are getting lower priority than couples (don't get me started on that). That may explain some of the "out of order" referrals. Also, when I was in the process, there was a higher demand for girls, so the wait was a bit longer. That also might be a factor.

Anonymous said...

Well said, it used to drive me nuts!!!

haze said...

If it helps, I specifically asked my agency about singles getting lower priority - they said while Ethiopia prefers couples, they do NOT discriminate against singles and singles are matched within the same timeframes as couples.

Now, to your post - this makes me SICK. I think some people lose their minds the longer they have to wait. Or maybe they always felt that way. How quickly they forget the questionnaire they filled out months ago, ticking off the conditions/circumstances they were open to for their referral. Perhaps the family that received the faster referral was open to a medical condition the other family was not - or some other factor like that. Man, it's not like once our dossiers land in the stack in Ethiopia we become interchangeable piles of paper. Each dossier represents a unique family with a specific situation. I for one am glad to hear my agency personally matches families to their children based on best fit/compatibility. We are not just waiting for our kids to fall off the conveyor belt for the next person in line. And to complain to their agencies??!! OMFG, I am so embarrassed!!

Great post, Tami! Again!!