Sunday, September 28, 2008

Head of Skate! HA HA HA

What would this blog be if I didn't get in on the Presidential Election Humor?  

Friday, September 26, 2008

Picture Perfect

Since I have so many blog buddies getting ready to travel to pick up their babes, I thought I would give you all a way to spend your money.  Oh, I mean provide stimulation for your baby and a way for them to see your lovely face until you have them in your arms.  Check out Manhattan Toy Whoozit Photo AlbumI'll probably get one, but who am I fooling I'm months away from a referral, but NEWSFLASH: Shawn and I have committed to finishing our dossiers by Nov. 7!  Oh, Shawn, I have assigned a date to November...I just thought you should know.  LOL  

Thursday, September 25, 2008

A Big Yawner!!!

Boy:  I just have to ask you one question.

Girl:  Yes.

Boy:  So, why are you adopting from Ethiopia?

Girl:  Why not?

Boy:  Oh, I guess that is a good answer.

Girl:  Thanks.  

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Brangelina Do It Again

Did you hear my favorite couple Brangelina donated $2 million dollars last week to help fight HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis in Ethiopia?  The money will be used to help build a clinic in Addis Ababa to help children fight the diseases.  

Brad and Angelina said "It is our hope when Zahara is older she will take responsibility of the clinic and continue its mission."  

Way to go Brad and Angelina!!!!!!  

Monday, September 22, 2008

The 70 Bus

On Thursday and Friday I had attended a conference at the DC Convention Center.  I decided not to drive since I have been paying a DC Workers salary lately with my parking tickets.  So, my choices were: train or bus.  For the train I had to walk 12 minutes (not far) to the train, take a 20 minute train ride, then walk about 5-10 more minutes to the convention center.  For the bus I had to walk around the corner (3-5 min.) then take a 20-30 minute bus ride.  Seems pretty simple, the bus right?  Buttttttt....taking the bus in DC is an adventure.  There is such a stigma attached to riding the bus in DC and most "professionals" in the city just don't do it unless it is for transfer downtown, most "professionals" prefer the train.  Truth be told, I haven't been on the bus for 10 years at least, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the bus.  BTW, when I told friends I was taking the bus they all said "WHY?" 

Here I was at the bus stop, with a few interesting characters, and I didn't even know how much the bus was.  I had to take out my PDA and look it up.  It was $1.35 each, I got this (so, I thought).  Once I got on the bus I thought I would read my latest book.  Not so much.   I sat in the very front (this seemed to be safest for someone who hasn't taken a bus in a decade) with a few other colorful characters.  Right next to me was a man that had alcohol for breakfast and a few seats down was a woman who forgot to take her medication for breakfast.  She commented about everyone on the bus.  As Latinos got on/off the bus she yelled "Hola" and 'Adios" (not in a friendly way).  She asked a nice young woman who appeared to be from Nigeria if she lived in a shelter (what???).  She asked an Ethiopian woman if she was from Pakistan or Ethiopia?  HUH???  I laughed out loud on this one.  She then asked if they were (Pakistan and Ethiopia) close together, the woman of course said no.  She then had a very loud and disturbing conversation with another man about something, but I can't really remember what.  Whew...that was a long 25 minutes but when it was over I felt like, I have to do this again, this was fun.  I caught the bus home and the next day, more of the same.  Although on my return trip the next day I had words with a different crazy lady.  

I was on the phone with my mother (again in the front seats) and a pregnant woman, who happened to be Ethiopian, got on the bus.  We said Selam and I proceeded to get out of my seat for her to sit down (she was pregnant for goodness sakes).  Instead of letting her sit down a woman decided she was going to jump in my seat...she knew I wasn't getting up for her.  I turned around and told her I wasn't getting up for her, I was getting up for the other woman to sit down.  She told me SO.  I said okay GET UP!  She said the seat was for elderly and priority, I told her the woman was pregnant (the woman was about 50, not old, just mean), she said SO.  I was heated.  Of course the woman looked like it's okay, it's okay.  Meanwhile my mother is on the phone saying Tami be nice, she knows I am on an "interesting" bus.  I told the woman she was just rude and inconsiderate.  She proceeded to tell me she didn't care and then started calling me fancy pants (I had on my suit and did look very nice! LOL...hater!)  Finally, a nice young lady next to the crazy lady got up for the woman to sit down.  My job was done and I moved to the back.  

I can see why people don't take the bus but it is less expensive and less walking for me depending on where I have to go.  I'm a big gurlcan handle myself and the haters but whew...that was an experience.  I hope I don't have to do that too often!  Maybe I'll walk the extra 17 minutes next time.  :-)  

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Life. It Happens.

When I was a kid my mother used to tell me: "Tami, you talk to much".  Then as I got older she said: "Tami, you talk too much and trust too easily.  You think everyone is your friend, they are not."  So, for thirty something years (don't ask) I pretty much heard those words repeated from my mother, in different ways of course.  For thirtysomething years she continued to see my heartbroken which broke her heart as well.  It was not until this past summer, when life happened (SHTF) that I finally understood what all of those things my mother said to me meant.  

A few weeks ago another AP asked me if she should tell everyone she is adopting and I told her if I had to do it over again I would wait until I had my referral to share.  When I started this process 15 months ago I thought it would move so smoothly for me...then life happened.   Life.  It happens.  Seems pretty simple to me, I thought it would be simple to everyone else.  I thought everyone would rejoice at my choices and provide support.  Maybe even if they weren't rejoicing I thought they would care about what was going on in my life.  So, I did as I often had, spilled all the beans about my feelings, the adoption process, plans I had for my baby girl, my career, about EVERYTHING!  Then guess what I found out?  Either many of those people could have cared less, they turned my joy into something they tried to use against me or they drive me completely insane asking me: "when is the baby coming, what is they problem, why is it taking so long, what are you doing wrong".  After each time someone asks me a question or it is very apparent they don't care about what is going on in my world a little is taken away from me and I think...what did I do to deserve that.   I want nothing more than to have my daughter home, but there are things that cannot be explained because life simply happens.  And after thirtysomething years I've finally realized that I don't owe people explanations for why my life happens the way it's life, it just does.  

So, finally, what life has taught me is to keep some things just for me and to share when and if I feel it is the right time to. Fifteen months into the process I now understand why people wait until the first trimester to tell people they are pregnant.  My mother used to say, not everything is for everybody.  I finally get it.  I just hope that I am able to convey what it took my mother thirtysomething years for me to get to Baby I at a much younger age.  I certainly don't ever want to steal her joy and I know my mother never wanted to steal mine, but what she wanted me to do was keep some of that joy reserved for me because she knew that others could crush my spirit (I'm sensitive you know...LOL).  Ok Mom, I finally get it...I love you.  

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I Have A Secret

If I didn't tell you this, I AM the queen of bargain shopping.  I can make it look like you have a lot of money when, don't.  I have tons of secrets that I usually don't share, but this one is just too good to pass up, so I'm going to hook you all up!  Oh, for this secret, Baby I wants very good baby shower gifts!  :-)  

Check out  A mompreneur started the site and new bargains are posted almost daily, if it's a good day the manna comes twice.  Discounts are up to 70-80% on some items.   The Mama bargain of the day is a cute diaper bag by Timi & Leslie.  Suggested retail price is $150, price $19.  I found the same bag for $139 at FYI, last month had a $500 stroller for $199!  

I know, I love me and I'm the greatest!  



Tuesday, September 16, 2008

That's Noble of You

Girl meets boy.  

They have decent conversations.

Girl tells boy she is adopting a daughter who will be home in the spring.  

Boy says: "My that is noble of you."

Girl is dumbfounded.  

What should girl do?  She really hates stupid responses, but it probably wasn't as bad as it seemed to her. 

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Puppy Lub

This video has absolutely nothing to do with Baby I but it is the cutest thing I've seen in a minute (that doesn't have to do with children...let's be clear about that!).  It made me smile so I thought it might make you smile too.  Enjoy.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

BET Still Stinks!

On Tuesday night BET premiered its first scripted TV series, "Somebodies".  It was supposed to be the first intelligent and realistic show about Black life based off of a critically acclaimed film that was shown at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival.  The film was about a group of twenty-somethings in Athens, Georgia as they come of age, focusing on the often ignored world of young Black life. The series picks up where the film left off as they enter the real world after college.  I figured maybe BET was finally getting it's act together, so let me take a look.  The series was well...IT SUCKED!  I think BET got lost in the translation.  My advice: don't waste your time.  Now, when Lincoln Heights comes back on (Sept. 16) that's quality TV, I love that show!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

First Come, First Served?

It has come to my attention that people are having major meltdowns because someone got a referral before they did.  People are throwing temper tantrums because couple D got their baby boy or woman F got a little girl and couple C is still waiting for a referral of either a boy or girl.  So, people have started complaining (I'm sure this is no shocker) on the boards, to their agency or to anyone that will listen...this isn’t fair!   I was first!  Boo-hoo…why haven’t I gotten my referral yet.  This isn't fair.  

First, people think about how all of this sounds...I mean really.  We are adults here.  This isn't place an order, stand in line, and a baby pops out!  I want to believe that even though agencies advise us that there is no specific matching, it really is not as simple as that, it can’t be.   Think about it. Families are different.  Some families have the capacity to handle physical and emotional challenges children may have while others do not.  Some request a boy or girl to complete their family while others say just bring it on…what God has for me is for me (although I still believe that regardless what child comes to your family is the child that God meant for you).  Either way adoption is never First Come, First Served!  This is not your local swap meet or Mickey D’s so people, get a grip!  Get a hobby!   Stop stressing!  Trust the process, when the child that is perfect for your family comes along it will all be worth the wait. Until then, just be happy if another family is blessed with the child that is perfect for them and know that your child is very near.


P.S.  I'm sure people are remembering why they didn't like me now.  LOL    

Monday, September 8, 2008

Is She Adopting for the Wrong Reasons?

Now, correct me if I'm wrong (I know that I'm not in this instance) if you don't really care for a persons culture you shouldn't adopt them just because you can get a baby faster and under twelve months of age.  WHAT?  See...this is why I stay on the boards!  Apparently there is one very confused woman lurking:

I'm torn between three countries: Russia, Kazakhstan and Ethiopia. I'm in love with the Russian and Kazakh culture and the people but I don't feel the same way with Ethiopia. To be honest, the only reason why I want to adopt from Ethiopia is because I can get a baby in under 12 months, I won't have to deal with rude comments and stares from strangers that other transracial families have to deal with and because its way cheaper. Is this truly the wrong reason to even consider Ethiopia as a country choice?
Signed-Her Imperial Majesty (or something like that)

Dear Her Majesty:

This may sound harsh but NO ADOPTION FROM ETHIOPIA FOR YOU!  The way you are positioning your email makes me question your entire parenting M.O., but that is a different subject...stay focused Tami.  Just because you are black does not make a black child a good fit for you, as is shown in your email.  I believe you would do more harm to your child than good because you would always think of that little Russian or Katz baby you could have had...even if you (in your words) saved a couple of dollars.  My advice to you before you start down the path to motherhood is spend a few more dollars and get some counseling...I think there is something going on in there...just my opinion.  Then move forward with your adoption...but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE leave Ethiopian children for people who truly have an interest in the culture and who want to love them for them not simply because they would be an easier fit on their arm or heaven forbid because it is cheaper!  

Friday, September 5, 2008

Kumbaya Yall

When I finally (the operative word) decide to do something I like to believe I do as most of you and try to prepare myself as best I can. It first starts with the bestfriend conversation: "so, I was thinking...or what do you think about..." Then it moves on to my mother: "Mommy, do you think this is the right thing to do...or do you think I'm crazy..." Then I move on to the real due diligence. I start researching and looking for information any place I can get it. I admit, I become (for a little while) slightly obsessed. Sometimes it works out for good then other times...I'm still trying to get over the other times.  Let's just say, it can be better to go with your gut and heart than with a lot of data.

When I decided I was going to adopt I followed my normal due diligence routine however it was a little different because I had already done a lot of the research. Since I had tried to have a baby one year before I already had a lot of information on what it would take for me to be a parent. I had already made changes to insurance policies, did estate planning and all of that good stuff, but I was still unclear about what adoption REALLY meant for me. However, I knew I was over not being able to have a baby and so thankful that I was alive and able to adopt.   So, I needed to find out everything about adoption. In the course of a few weeks I probably bought so many adoption books, magazines, went to seminars, talked to people who were/have adopted and joined adoption boards.  

Now, every now and then since I am on this sloooooow road I still look for new adoption groups or other information.  A little while ago I joined a pretty strange board that I thought applied to single women adopting, but tell me why have I never seen any information except how to get a man? I mean what is that all about? Sidebar: not that I wouldn't like a nice, tall, handsome and wealthy man, but something tells me that group isn't the place to find it!  And speaking of boards, I find that the other adoption boards are all great as long as everyone is singing Kumbaya (ok, probably not Kumbaya because it has some religous undertones and you know that doesn't go over well on the boards, but you get the point...and if you aren't on the boards...well, this is over your head).   :-)  

Don't get me wrong, some of the adoption boards are working and serving their purpose and yes, I can unsubscribe from the ones that I don't like, but I stay because I, like to (as Jesse Jackson says), Keep Hope Alive. I don't know, I was always the kid in the room that thought if I went to sleep I would miss something. Maybe if I leave, I'll miss the brilliance of another AP (I did leave the "single adoption" group).  Maybe I should leave and stop wasting my time because the brilliance is never coming. I don't know. Maybe I just have too much time to kill until Baby I gets here...yea, that's probably the real answer! Maybe, I just feel like I have something to offer and I'm trying to figure out what it is...until then...Kumbaya Yall!  

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Vogue India WTH????

For a minute the folks at Vogue had me fooled.  With the publication of the July, Vogue Italy issue (the issue with all Black models) I thought, just maybe, they were trying to do some good in the fashion industry.  Make a change.  Ruffle some racist feathers.  Give some beautiful sisters jobs so others would do the same.  

Well, Vogue was trying to pull a Jedhi mind trick on us.  Have you seen or heard about the Vogue India August issue?  They didn't highlight beautiful Indian models or any other ethnicity, but they did highlight another underserved population in their layouts.  Are you sitting down?  The issue highlights the IMPOVERISHED in a 16 page layout wearing Fendi, Hermes, Birkin and other designers (excuse me while I go throw up now!)!  See the NY Times article that talks more about it.   
A baby who may not get any food tomorrow is wearing a $100 Fendi bib!  The young girl behind them looks quite disturbed, I would be also.  No, I would be pissed!  

The man, who has probably in all likelihood made less than $500 a year (456 million Indians make less than $1.25 daily), is carrying a $200 Burberry umbrella.  

WTH was Vogue India thinking you might ask?  Their response:

Vogue India editor Priya Tanna’s message to critics of the August shoot: “Lighten up,” she said in a telephone interview. Vogue is about realizing the “power of fashion” she said, and the shoot was saying that “fashion is no longer a rich man’s privilege. Anyone can carry it off and make it look beautiful,” she said.

Baby I may be reading a lot of magazines (well, her Mom does...we have books too!), but Vogue won't be one of them.  What a bunch of idiots!   

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Thanks Blogdom!

After 6 days and all of the kind words of support, I have decided to continue blogging!  It's great therapy after all and if I have people silly enough to consistently read my musings, who am I to deny them.  :-)  So, I'm officially back to blogging...okay, at least for now.  LOL  

Thanks for the support, you all are the BESTEST (yup...bestest).    See you tomorrow!