Here in the bliss of my adoption I do have thoughts of what if she doesn't like me? I didn't always like my mother (did any of us? Funny how it works out, she is my ultimate friend now!) but I was stuck with her and I didn't have any other reason to resent her besides the fact that she made the terrible decision to make "that" man my father. She always told me that it was a great decision (him) because she got me out of the deal even if he was never around after the fact...anyway I digress, I'll leave that for another blog (this is great therapy!) I also think what if she is angry with me for taking her from her country or what if she doesn't think I did enough to help her country or what if...what if...what if...sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode. Then I usually just get a migraine, take a pill and a nap!
When I started down the adoption path I talked with everyone I knew who was adopted (I have several friends and family members) but I was still a little hesitant. So I started reading books but that seemed so edited. I wanted to hear the truth. My friends told me but I wanted more. This has always been my problem, my mother says I never know when enough is enough!
Thanks to one of the blogs that I view, they have two links to very real adoptee blogs. Letters to a Birthmother is by an adoptive mother whose file was recently opened up of their adopted child. Adopt This: Confessions Of An Ambivalent Adoptee...well, enough said. If anyone else has found any other adoptee blogs that are interesting please share particularly if they are by African American children or adults.