Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Single Motherhood My Choice

My friend Laura who is also adopting (her blog is Journey to Mommyhood) and I are often told that if we adopt we can forget about finding husbands. Let's see at each point in my life that I advance I am told I am decreasing the likelihood of finding a mate. When I got my MBA, a classmate's brother said I had a better chance of finding a husband being on welfare. Wow...that was a sad statement...I got my MBA; I'm still single.

When I purchased my home I quickly found out that I have a passion for design (something I had always known but ignored) and decorated my home showing this flair. What did this get me? I had men come to my home asking me how much money I made and saying no wonder I don't have a man, I don't need one. Wow...I thought.

I also realized, as I knew all along, that corporate was not for me. I had several business ventures and shared them with the men that I dated. "What you own your own business?" Hello...Hello...Hello???? The insecurity behind that! I have had men tell me that they feel insecure to me. I have dated white collar, blue collar, green collar, pink collar...I don't care! At one point I started hiding my home, my business, everything that I worked so hard to EARN and let me tell you I earned every bit of this. There was no silver spoon in my mouth! Oh how I wish it was though! Anyhow..

When I learned I had reproductive issues I decided to get off of the dating merry-go-round (so to speak) and to take matters into my own hands. I decided that I was going to have a child on my own and at this point I don't mean via adoption. Oh yes, there were guys that said they would have a child with me but when I called them they never thought that I would call. I was a little too independent for them. I didn't want their money, I simply wanted them to be a father if that is what they wanted because I had made the choice to be a single mother.


Tracey said...

Too true! I have been told that men need to feel needed, and I just don't seem to need them enough. I personally think men sell themselves short when they think all we need them for (and all they have to offer) is money. On the otehr hand, lots of my friends are married to men who make less money than they do, so not all guys have the problem.

Anonymous said...

What a ridiculous notion...if a man does'nt want to marry u b/c u have adopted a child that is no man 4 u. If and when u meet the right man he will love you uncondiontionaly and that is one way that u will know that he is the right one.

When i met my husband , my daughter was 10 yrs old, and few people told me the same thng...of cousre that was totally hubbie reps all the good guys left out there